Tailgating 101

[PonyFan]

Here's a quick guide to SMU tailgating (borrowed from another school and modified to fit the Hilltop):

1. What time should you show up for Saturday's 2 p.m. Nevada game?
A. 7:00 -- to set up the grill, ice down the beer, loosen up the Nerf football throwing arm and get a prime seat for "viewing" on The Boulevard
B. 9:00 -- friends have already set up, so I'll show up with my drinking hat, a bottle of Pepto and flask to take in inside my boot
C. 11:00 -- Shaking off the morning hangover and didn't want to tote Bloody Mary's all over The Boulevard
D. 1:00 -- Making an appearance with friends, checking the scenery on The Boulevard, but Nevada doesn't inspire truly serious drinking

2. What time do you start DRINKING before a 2 p.m. game?
A. 1:00 -- gotta be coherent through the first half
B. 11:00 -- want to still be happy at kickoff
C. 9:00 -- Bloody Mary at home, then out to The Boulevard to put lower the beer supply
D. Wednesday

3. What are you drinking?
A. Cheap domestic beer
B. Imported beer
C. Jack Daniels
D. Whatever leftover booze I can find in my apartment

4. What kind of food are you eating at your tailgating party?
A. Whatever BUS and PX are serving, if I can mooch some
B. A variety platter of chicken wings, cheese, fruits, potato salad
C. Burgers/brats on my grill
D. Beer. If it ain't liquid, I don't eat it on Game Day

5. How many S-M-U chants do you start before game time?
A. None. I'm not very vocal
B. 1-3. I'll start my own and join in on others
C. 4-8. I'm a PonyFan, and I'm full of spirit
D. Too many to count. My goal is to send the Wolf Pack fans back to Reno having heard "S! M! U!" so many times their ears are bleeding

6. What do you plan to do after the game?
A. Rush the field, try to dump extra Gatorade over Coach Bennett and injure a shoulder trying to get past SMU's finest en route to ripping down the goalposts
B. Head back to The Boulevard to consume any leftover beer and remind the Nevada fans how we just whipped their little boys
C. Head to the Green Elephant with any girl who's sober enough to drive
D. Start a grass-roots campaign to nominate Coach Bennett for President of the United States
E. Steal hot dogs from stadium vendors and run like hell
F. Go home, arrange huge party plans and pass out before making it out the door

How many of the following are necessary for tailgating at SMU?
A. Law enforcement
B. Beer
C. A Hibachi
D. Girls who might flash
E. More beer
F. A date
G. Someone who knows first aid
H. Food for the grill
I. The phone number of a good lawyer
J. A football
K. A tree
L. More beer
M. A tent or table on The Boulevard
N. SMU pride
(Answer: all except F, although it's nice to have a date who can drive you home.)

[This message has been edited by PonyFan (edited 10-28-2002).]

[Corso]

Ha! THAT is funny!