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Grow your own conference attendance

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Grow your own conference attendance

Postby longbuzzer » Wed Oct 04, 2017 10:10 am

As one of the only two SMU grads to bar tend at the Playboy Club, I will claim insanity and use hydroponic, grow your own analogies to describe our conference foes and potential FB attendance (yes, here we go again).

1. Houston. Simply power stuff. Don't drive, order in. They are our 30K butts in the seats at both ends of I45. We need to stay good to pull this off. Of all of the schools screwed by realignment, UH is number one, if we, UCONN and USF are a close number two.

2. Navy. Exotic blend. We need to savor this stuff for 25K butts. We have improved on the field to hold Navy safely under 100 points. Next goal is 50 points and we have a shot at winning with our offense. Always need a fly over to start the game.

3. USF, UCF, Memphis, Cincinnati, Temple. Go-to blends. Might be the strength of our conference. Not P5 wannabes, but P5 cannabis, I mean cannabes. Our goal is to educate Dallas that these are worthy of 22K butts or more.

4. Tulsa, Tulane. Rather have a beer. Fellow step children from past conference marriages. Good academics doesn't put butts in seats. Back to 18K at best, although each school has some alumni in the area. Can you say "promotions" three times quickly when these guys show up in Ford. In all fairness, we are not big draws when we show up in their stadiums

5. UCONN, East Carolina. Not dirt stuff, just not ranked. No offense, but these are nice schools that are relatively unkown in Dallas, in a football sense. EC has a great setup in North Carolina and I hear super fans. UCONN is,well, basketball in Dallas. 15K butts at best. Bring on the bus brigade and band promotions.
longbuzzer
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