Top 10: Men's Hoops

[Letterman]

From high on the Hilltop, the top 10 reasons SMU's men's basketball team will fare better than expected this year:

10. Coach Dement's bowl haircut brings lucrative sponsorship deal from Souper Salad
9. Opponents can't stop giggling when they glance through the SMU media guide and realize Eric Castro's favorite sports figures are Michael Jordan and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
8. Jibran Kelley's oversized mouthpiece: scary
7. Ponies move much faster than any team should with a player (Duke Biggers) whose high school team was called the "Snails"
6. New plastic-looking Adidas shoes shine glare into opponents' eyes when shooting
5. Anyone who answers to the nickname "Dodo" (Donatas Rackauskas) has to be good
4. Late addition to the basketball recruiting staff: R.C. Slocum
3. Dan Patrick on SportsCenter: "You can't stop The Q, you can only hope to contain him"
2. Bryan Hopkins plays through the most painful-sounding injury ever: the pulled groin

And the #1 reason the SMU men's basketball team will exceed all goals this year:

1. None of the Mustangs have (yet) married Jennifer Lopez

[This message has been edited by Letterman (edited 12-03-2002).]

[PonyGirl]

Sorry Letterman - your lists are usually hilarious, but this isn't your best effort. (Although #10 is great, and #6 is really funny, too.)
Keep them coming, though. They're always great for a laugh!