Joe Keep

[The CPC]

Normally CPC posts over on the "other" board, but that one has been experiencing technical difficulties for an extended time, and CPC has gotten tired of waiting. CPC has spent most of his holidays in the wilds of north Louisiana, scouting the Bulldogs at Tech, and he has much to report. Before we get to Tech, however, CPC has a few thoughts to share on tonights opponent. the San Diego Torrerors. Dont ask CPC what a Torrero is, I thought that was a car that Ford discontinued back in the 70's, but apparently I'm wrong.
If CPC ever met San Diego center Joe Keep in a dark alley, he would probably shed his feathers, right there on the spot. Keep is probably the meanest looking human being it has ever been CPC's misfortune to run in terror from. Just picture for a moment in your mind a 6'11", 290 pound, shaved headed, tattooed gorilla, with just slightly less body fur. Thats Keep. CPC is talking about a face that can crack mirrors and turn fresh milk into sour cream.
This is Keeps first year eligible at San Diego, after transferring from Oklahoma State (penitentiary?) and he didnt waste any time asserting his presence. In just his second game as a Torrino he walked into Pauley Pavilion and slammed down 30 points on UCLA. He hasnt slowed down much from there, he averages 18.5 a game, including 24 against Utah and 24 against Purdue. BYU has been the only team to hold him under double digits, and that was because he got in early foul trouble.
Most guys Keeps size pick up their fouls on defense, blocking shots or banging with guys under the boards, but Keep gets more of his on the offensive end, because he has a tendency to go straight through a defender to get to the basket. Or 2 defenders. Or 3. Or the school band if he has to. Keep doesnt have the offensive skills of Wake Forests Eric Williams, but he's stronger than Williams, and not many people can say that. Keep has the meanest drop-step in college basketball today, and he's not afraid to use it. He doesnt care if he's facing a zone, a double team or the entire team, he will drop step and dunk on anybody. If the Cheerleaders are on the court for a timeout, and Keep has the ball, well........ lets just hope medical personnel are standing by. The guy knows just one direction, straight to the basket, and if you're in the way, thats just your misfortune.
Keep is near the top of the NCAA charts in field goal percentage, at 66%, but he shoots a rather anemic 54% at the free throw line. You know what that means? There should be a foul called every time the guy touches the ball. Either set your feet and take the charge, or hack the stuffing out of him and make him try to get his points from the line. We have enough depth inside to hack all night, and there's really no other way to stop the guy. It takes guts to stand steady and take a charge from a guy the size of Keep, but if you've got the heart you can get him out of the game and on the bench, and he cant hurt you from over there. He might still look at you really mean, but that cant hurt you. Not much. (at least I think not, that ones never really been tested and the dude does have a serious glare.....)
The rest of the Tornados will spread the court, almost a 4-corners type look, and then pass the ball around the perimeter over and over while Keep works for position inside. Big forward Jason Blair is their second scoring option, and he's a threat to shoot the 3, or drive hard to the basket any time he touches the ball. Freshman center Nick Lewis is Keeps backup and he has also been averaging 10 points a game, coming off the bench. Lewis hasnt played in their last 3 games, though, and might be hurt. With Lewis out, that makes hanging a few fouls on Keep an even more logical strategy.
Thats all CPC has to report on the Talladegas, tip off tonight at 7. Tomorrow CPC will be back with his scouting report on La. Tech. Also, the WAC season tipped off last night with Fresno State upsetting Tulsa in Fresno. Tulsa has injured starters Antonio Reed and Dante Swanson both back, but its not yet clear how much they will be able to contribute. More in depth analysis and WAC coverage coming from your favorite crippled pet chicken in the days ahead.
One last note: Good news on Lady Mustang Kim Walter. Kim only tore her ACL when she dislocated her knee against Oklahoma. All the other ligaments and tendons are still intact. She has to have another surgery after some of the swelling from the first one has receded, but she's in much better shape than it was first thought. No word yet on wether she will be able to play again in the future, but she is much better than was first feared.
Thats all for now, Happy New Year to everyone and remember, the CPC is NOT your grandpa's feather duster.

[Pony4Life]

That's a hell of a scouting report, CPC - and without a doubt the funniest post you've ever thrown on this board. (Speaking of boards, stick with this one.)

[PK]

Thanks CPC for sharing your entertaining and thorough insite on our upcoming BB opponents with us on this board. You do have a way with words. Assuming the other board ever comes up again, you still ought to post here too. BTW, tell your buddy "Bite Me" I said hello.

[DenPony]

Thank you for the analysis my friendly physically challenged bantam. I think this game may depend on how quick Keep is vs Castro. If Castro can get the charge calls, we could win this one. Otherwise, I like your plan to hack and grab to keep Keep from keepin' on.

[The CPC]

Thank you, thank you, CPC always likes to be appreciated by his fans. This was his first post on this board, and unless the other one shapes up he will probably be here to stay.

Incidentally, if Joe Keep happens to read this, CPC didnt mean a word of it big fella. And I dont think I'll be able to make it to the game tonight, either........ that chicken sitting in section AA behind the west basket isnt me, thats somebody else, and beside that the big hairy guy sitting next to me is my bodyguard, and he carries a gun, so just keep your distance.

All kidding aside, Joe, if you read this give CPC a call, I have a business proposition. A man with your talent and your looks is wasting his time in basketball. You have a serious future ahead of you in the world of professional wrestling. The squared circle is calling you brother, and this is an opportunity you cant pass up. Let CPC be your manager and its straight to the top, big boy. I'm talking bigger than Rick Flair, bigger than Hulk Hogan, sky's the limit type big. Give CPC a call, or drop me an email, and I'lll get things rolling. CPC has the connections, I'll get in touch with Vince and we'll sit down and talk a contract over dinner some night. Maybe we can get Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson to join us for dinner, you cant say no to that kind of evening. Just give CPC a chance, hear what McMahon has to say, we'll make you famous. You got the potential to be a Monster. In the meantime, CPC has got to go now, lots of business to do, teams to scout, recruits to watch, you know how it is. CPC is just staying one step ahead of the cook pot. Peace out.

[whatasteve]

hey CPC, maybe you can line up Mad Dog as CPC's wrestling agent!

[Hoop Fan]

Ah, the Gran Torreros of the University of San Diego. Until they beat UCLA this year, the Gran Torrero was better known for its starring role in the classic tv series, Starsky & Hutch. As for Joe Keep, we sure could use a transfer like that for once. How did the guy get from Okie State to SoCal? Anyway, tonight probably depends on how the game is officiated. If we get a little home cookin' (pardon the reference, CPC)like UNLV seemed to, things should be okay.

[The CPC]

Late breaking update. Freshman center Nick Lewis, who I mentioned earlier, is supposed to be out with a sprained knee. Sophomore center Ryan Hegarty has quit the team. So, until Lewis is back the Toreadors dont have another center after Keep.
Also, apparently Keeps real first name is Jason, not Joe, and someone has been feeding him vicious rumors about everyones favorite barnyard fowl. He's in a dark mood, and says he wants a high protein pre-game meal of fried chicken and scrambled eggs. CPC is leaving town until the coast is clear. Peace out.

[Charleston Pony]

When was the last time SMU beat a team that had a dominating presence in the low post? This doesn't sound good for the Ponies, who need to play the proverbial "3-headed center" with 15 fouls to give tonight.

[DenPony]

Tonight was the last time we beat someone with a dominating post player!!!!!!!!!!!Great 2nd half Ponies!!!BHop came alive in 2nd half but still way too many TO's vs assists. PSimp, Castro, Q, and the I Man were all sensational. Kelley, Lowe and theRack all gave good time too. Good team win.

[PK]

Castro did a nice job with Keep. He took at least one good charge and generally kept on him. I really liked the way Castro came alive at the end of the game. That 3 with 4 seconds left was a clutch shot and those two drives to the basket early in OT were great. The team showed some real maturity finally in the second half in over coming that 15 point deficit at the half.

Go Ponies!!!!

[HorsePower]

Two Jason Keep highlights:

Fouling out when Hopkins drew a charge. (After the game, Hopkins said "I thought he was going to kill me when he hit me." Justin Isham told him he'll feel that hit Friday; Hopkins said he already felt it.

Also, when Keep was at Oklahoma State, he was fat (but still huge, of course.) He went to get one of his many tattoos, asking the guy to etch "Big Daddy" into his arm. But the guy MISSPELLED IT (never ask someone from Oklahoma to spell anything without writing it down for him...) So for over a year, Keep was trotting around with "Big Dady" on his arm. He's since had it removed and then replaced by one of those murals he's sporting now.