Burger wars, re-visited

[PK]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Dement-ed:
<B>And PK, calling a one-pound burger a "freak show" is impolite. It makes you sound like a lightweight, and perhaps ill-suited to be an expert burger analyst.</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I probably am a "lightweight", but you had to see that one pounder to understand my naming it a freak show...I don't think I could even get my mouth open wide enough to start eating that thing if my life depended on it. The reality of it was that half the ingredients were winding up on PX's plate and not in his mouth.

Oh well...I've know for quite awhile now that everyones taste in hamburgers or anything else is a personal thing and getting a unanimous consenses is going to be tough if not impossible..

[PX]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by PK:
<B> I probably am a "lightweight", but you had to see that one pounder to understand my naming it a freak show...I don't think I could even get my mouth open wide enough to start eating that thing if my life depended on it. The reality of it was that half the ingredients were winding up on PX's plate and not in his mouth.

Oh well...I've know for quite awhile now that everyones taste in hamburgers or anything else is a personal thing and getting a unanimous consenses is going to be tough if not impossible..</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Except for the grease, every bit of that burger wound up exactly where it was supposed to. Dont try making me sound like a slob, particularly when we are still discussing The Waitress.

You are correct that much of the Burger War is a matter of personal taste, so perhaps we might do better breaking this down into categories. Such as:

Best Bun: Tipperary Inn.
Best Beef: (quality) Campisis
Best Beef: (quantity) Two Rows
Best Toppings: Tipperary Inn (bacon, onion, tomato, lettuce)
Best appetizers: Snuffers (would include fries and onion rings)
Best Waitress: Tipperary Inn
Best Beer Selection: Tipperary Inn
Best Entertainment: Tipperary Inn.
Best Burger Selection: (ie. Are there several configurations of burger to choose from, different toppings, different size, etc,) Two Rows.

Tipperary Inn seems to be running away with this at the moment, although they lose points in the very important appetizer category, because most of their best appetizers are only on their "Late Night" menu, and thus were unavailable when we arrived for dinner. Not the way to run a business guys.

I think the majority of judges would find these rankings agreeable, even though each of us seems to have a different area of expertise. So, lets hear it from the judges, particularly on their favorite categories.

[PK]

By no means was I implying that you are a slob PX. I was just trying to make a point that the burger was too big. I'll admit that Tipperary was fun and I enjoyed the burger (for the most part), but that burger was $7.95...Campisi's burger is $2.50 or so. Maybe we need to run two catagories. Burgers under $4.00 and those over $4.00.

My idea of a great hamburger is one like I use to get when I was a kid....regular bun, lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, mustard and mayo! No bacon....no cheese (that's a cheese burger)...no secret sauce....no cute s.p.i.c.e.s....just a good ole hamburger. That's why I still have Campisi's at the top of my list. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed the other "burgers", but they don't fit my definition of a good (ole) hamburger.

[This message has been edited by PK (edited 05-20-2002).]

[PX]

See, here is the basic problem. You are a burger purist, while I am more of an adventurist. I want want the burger that dares new heights, a burger that offers a mix of flavors, one that tantalizes and intrigues the senses. I want a burger thats more than just a plain burger, I want a burger with flavor, zest and vigor, a burger that has something to say for itself! The ordinary burger in the ordinary bun with a trace of mustard may be familiar, comfortable and reassuring, but the same thing every time is just flat out boring. I want a burger that is so good it makes me want to eat it again and again, not a burger that I eat again and again because I dont know anything different.

When I want to relive my childhood I read my comic book collection.

[PK]

Hell PX, what you really want is a burger (any burger) that comes with a comely waitress!! The rest of your eloquent description is just window dressing.

[PX]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by PK:
<B>Hell PX, what you really want is a burger (any burger) that comes with a comely waitress!! The rest of your eloquent description is just window dressing. </B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Waitress did not enter the equation until recently., dont try to build a smoke screen. I might add that, in relation to your comment on the Two Rows Burger, there is no such thing as too big. If you cant eat the whole thing you take the rest home for tomorrow.

[Thumper]

To take this seriously, y'all need to get rid of all the extras. Eat the burger (cheese is OK), the bun and that's it. Katchup OR mustard is OK. Lose all that pickle, onion and other stuff.
Only then can you call yourselves experts.

[DallasDiehard]

PX is right - you never complain about a burger being too big. You keep working at it until you can choke down the whole thing. Practice makes perfect, or so I hear.

[Silk]

Let's don't make this into a "Rate the Waitresses" list - that would get way too long and competitive. There's enough difference of opinion on food. When it comes to waitresses, this would really get out of hand.

[PK]

In all fairness, I must point out that the $7.95 I quoted above for the Tipperary Inn burger included fries. I will go back there again....preferably on a Wednesday night. The waitress thing was just to give PX a little ribbing (though she WAS a for real babe).

[PX]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Thumper:
<B>To take this seriously, y'all need to get rid of all the extras. Eat the burger (cheese is OK), the bun and that's it. Katchup OR mustard is OK. Lose all that pickle, onion and other stuff.
Only then can you call yourselves experts.</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thats absolutely ridiculous, but thanks for playing. I knew a girl in high school that ate like that, she would scrape everything off a burger, then just nibble at the beef patty. She was down to about 75 pounds before her parents realized she was anorexic, and finally checked her into a hospital.
When I order a burger I ask for it medium rare, what I DONT say is "please bring me the plainest, most average, boring burger available, please?" No on in their right mind does. That defeats the whole point of trying different burgers at different places. If all I wanted was a cooked patty on a boring white bread bun I could do that on the grill by my pool. When we go out, I'm looking for the best a restaraunt has to offer, anything less is pointless. Thats the way people actually get their burger when they eat out, no one intentionally makes their burger less appetizing.

Finally, I never claimed to be an expert, I'm just writing down what I think. If you dont like it, give your own opinion.

"Those who have no stomache for this fight, let them depart." -Bill Shakespeare

[Charleston Pony]

in my day on the hilltop, I would have enjoyed being a part of this debate. Having been away from Dallas for years now, I'm afraid I can't contribute. But: PX ; you mentioned the fact that you preferred a memorable taste in your burger? You might have enjoyed a place that existed in my time called "the phone booth". It's gimmick was that you placed your order from a phone at your booth. I recall their "Alpine Yodeler" burger as one of my favorites. A simple 1/2 lb burger smothered in shredded melted cheddar and bacon, topped with mayo...or the Texas Chili burger. The best part was that they ran "two for one" coupons in the Daily Campus, so there was no excuse for leaving that place hungry.

I might have to check into some of these places you guys are talking about next time in Big D, although I usually crave Dickey's BBQ because good ole Texas "red" BBQ is hard to come by in the Carolinas. Hope to see everyone 8/31. Beat Navy!

[whatasteve]

Ladies and gentlemen - a new leader has emerged. Jake's, on Skillman, is now the leader of the pack of burgers.

1. Jake's
2. Tipperary Inn
3. Two Rows
4. Campisi's
5. Snuffers

"The Works" - a double cheeseburger at Jake's, was filling, flavorful and satisfying. We still haven't sampled what I'd call a great burger, but this is the closest we've come. The bun was tasty and lightly toasted, which helped it remain in one piece. The toppings were good, although the staff behind the counter apparently had major difficulty with my "no pickles" edict. They were removed easily enough, and thankfully didn't leave behind any of that nasty-tasting pickle juice. The beef, it must be pointed out, was thin - á lá campisi's - but when you double it up by ordering the double burger, that's a minor flaw. And get the tater tots -- they beat the hell out of those grease bombs they used to serve in the cafeteria in elementary school. And the beer was extremely cold.

Overall, the strongest showing yet. PK didn't seem overly impressed - he and the lovely Mrs. PK suggested that Jake's is "OK, for lunch" - but then again he thinks Campisi's makes a great burger (again, the Campisi's burger is not bad at all - tasty, even - but certainly not suitable for a last meal, as PK would have you believe) so you know he can't be trusted.

All in all, the staff was useless (running the register at the counter completely baffled two of them), but the tater tots and the double burger were outstanding. Not great, but getting there.

[This message has been edited by whatasteve (edited 05-24-2002).]

[whatasteve]

And yes, the lovely Whatachick will be joining us next week.

[PK]

There is no doubt in my mind that Whatasteve and I have very different taste in burgers. As a result, we order intirely different types of burgers. He has stated his preferences above and as such I will not argue with him on his personal assessment. However, I will now state my personal assessment. Jake's burgers are good, but I would not recommend the regular, single patty, burger. You have to have a great imagination to claim you tasted any beef at all as the patty is 1/8 of an inch thick if even that much. Mostly, you get a mouth full of bread, lettuce and mustard. There was a tomato slice, minced onions and pickles buried some where in there too. Whatasteve and PX got the "Works" which had two thin patties, bacon and cheese along with the rest of the fixings and they enjoyed them very much. My wife had a simple cheeseburger and thought it was great.

Obviously Whatasteve is getting an early case of Alezhimers for him to think that the Campisi's beef patty was anywhere near as thin as Jake's. The Campisi's beef patty is well over a 1/4 inch thick.

My ratings:

1. Campisi's
2. Tipperary Inn (tie)
Two Rows (tie)
4. Jake's
5. Snuffer's

Will I ever rate anything higher than Campisi's? I stated once before that if you would put the Tipperary bun on the Two Rows burger, I would place it at the top. Mean while, I've been eating burgers for a long, long time and Campisi's is where I go when I want a good hamburger. Obviously the rest of the crew differ with me. It doesn't bother me in the least.