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For all you pony lawyers or guys thinking of getting married

Postby ponydawg » Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:36 pm

Get a load of this contract that this guy tried to get his wife to sign......
creepy......yet inspired...


http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/02 ... ract1.html


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Postby jtstang » Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:24 pm

From henceforth all contracts eminating from the Law Offices of jtstang shall be printed using these fonts.
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Postby DiamondM » Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:34 pm

What frightens me is that she actually (a) married him (if presented as a pre-nup); or (b) stayed married to him (if presented after she said her vows).

Her reaction should have been: "Are you f***ing kidding me? If you want a woman who will agree to that nonsense, you better go find yourself a 17 year-old illiterate mail-order bride from Thailand. See you later, chumpspank."
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Postby jtstang » Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:09 pm

DiamondM wrote:"See you later, chumpspank."

Excuse me, counsel, are you using that as a term of art?
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Postby Stallion » Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:19 pm

I'd be surprised if that document even gets admitted into evidence unless there is some type of corroborating evidence. Its not signed, not initialed, not in his handwriting, doesn't even have their names in the type set and it appeard to be nothing more than gag-form. I have one a helluva a lot funnier in my files-I bet just about every lawyer does. I wouldn't be so quick to Judgment. I think I'll ask for a new jury..
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Postby McClown27 » Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:57 pm

Stallion wrote: I have one a helluva a lot funnier in my files-I bet just about every lawyer does. I wouldn't be so quick to Judgment. I think I'll ask for a new jury..


How can you practice law when there is so much recruiting information to absorb? :lol:

What is your specialty Stallion?
Willis to slot receiver!
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Postby SMU Football Blog » Wed Feb 22, 2006 9:52 am

Stallion wrote:I'd be surprised if that document even gets admitted into evidence unless there is some type of corroborating evidence. Its not signed, not initialed, not in his handwriting, doesn't even have their names in the type set and it appeard to be nothing more than gag-form. I have one a helluva a lot funnier in my files-I bet just about every lawyer does. I wouldn't be so quick to Judgment. I think I'll ask for a new jury..


Objection overruled, counselor. You will have the opportunity to address the document on cross-examination.
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Postby abezontar » Wed Feb 22, 2006 1:54 pm

Even if the document was a joke for most people, he may have picked it up and tried to get his wife to sign it. We are talking about a pervert here, am I the only one that noticed that he is being charged with kidnapping his wife, and possessing child pronography!!!
The donkey's name is Kiki.

On a side note, anybody need a patent attorney?

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Postby White Helmet » Wed Feb 22, 2006 3:44 pm

Thinking of funny files, a friend of mine who is a Surveyor has a land deed that is dated from 1999, that says the land is only to be "inhabited and owned by people of the caucasian race." Pretty embarassing.
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Postby EastStang » Wed Feb 22, 2006 4:29 pm

I've seen those as late as about 1972 but after that its very rare. Before 1972, it was pretty common. There was an article in yesterday's Washington Post about a book on "Sundown Towns" where blacks had to be out of town by sundown or face arrest. There were over 1000 towns like that in America according to the author of the book. Not funny, but something to remember. The guy who wrote that contract is just plain sick, even if he downloaded it from the internet as a joke and gave to his wife as a joke. Living here in the land of Lorena Bobbitt, I would know better than to send that to my wife. The guy would be lucky to keep his Johnson.
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Postby DiamondM » Wed Feb 22, 2006 5:54 pm

jtstang wrote:
DiamondM wrote:"See you later, chumpspank."

Excuse me, counsel, are you using that as a term of art?


Indeed. Check it out in Black's Law Dictionary. From the Olde English for "D*ckweed."
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Postby Stallion » Wed Feb 22, 2006 6:44 pm

Rice Institute now Rice University was created by a Trust Agreement from its founder William Rice that required that it be an institution for the exclusive education of Caucasins.
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Postby SMU Football Blog » Wed Feb 22, 2006 6:52 pm

Also, when Bush was running for President, it was discovered that that was a restrictive covenant on his home in HP. Even though it was unenforceable and Bush didn't even know about it, it caused some political "confusion" among certain segments of the population.
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