Picking out the winners for this college season, SMU, etc.

[Water Pony]

The envelopes, please.

Not that all the returns are in this college football regular season. Still, enough precincts have reported to declare some probable winners.

Coach of the year

1. Joe Paterno, Penn State. A champion again, and he's pushing 80. A gassed-up offense is more rejuvenating than Vitamin E.

2. Charlie Weis, Notre Dame. The most hollowed document since the Dead Sea scrolls may be his playbook. Last season, the Irish broke 30 once in the last eight games, and Brady Quinn threw 17 touchdown passes. This season, they topped 30 in 10 games and Quinn has thrown 32.

3. George O'Leary, Central Florida. From the nation's longest losing streak to the Conference USA title game in three months. Not even Wal-Marts get built that quickly.

Game of the year

1. USC 34, Notre Dame 31. What would the BCS world look like today had Matt Leinart not threaded a bull's-eye on 4th-and-9 to Dwayne Jarrett? Or Reggie Bush had not skirted the rules to help give Leinart a heave-ho into the end zone?

2. Michigan 27, Penn State 25. The Nittany Lions scored 22 points in the fourth quarter and took the lead with 53 seconds left. And that still wasn't enough. Chad Henne's 10-yard touchdown pass to Mario Manningham won at the gun.

3. Texas 25, Ohio State 22. They had never met. Some first date. A last-ditch Vince Young-led touchdown drive saved the Longhorns' season.

Upsets of the year

1. Arizona 52, UCLA 14. The Wildcats came in 2-6, the Bruins 8-0. Arizona was Cinderella, granted one night at the ball. But only one. The Wildcats turned back into a pumpkin the next week, losing 38-14 to a 2-9 Washington team.

2. South Florida 45, Louisville 14. The 8-2 Cardinals scored at least 40 points in eight games this season, and broke 60 three times. What happened? Start with 15 Louisville penalties.

3. Tennessee 30, LSU 27, OT. LSU would probably be unbeaten today, and be primed for another BCS shafting, if it had not blown a 21-0 halftime lead against a Tennessee team that was otherwise an orange train wreck.

Inexplicable scores of year

1. UC Davis 20, Stanford 17. Huh?

2. Oklahoma State 24, Texas Tech 17. All hail the Cowboys for holding the nation's No. 1 passing offense to 17. They were a little less effective most every other Saturday, losing seven of their last eight games, giving up 34, 38, 62, 37, 47, 44 and 42 points.

3. SMU 21, TCU 10. One week, TCU beats Oklahoma, on the way to a 10-1 record. The next, it loses to an SMU team that would start 2-6.

Flops of the year

1. Tennessee. Top five in every preseason poll. But 5-6 at the end. The rap on Phillip Fulmer's program now is one of undisciplined and wasted talent.

2. Florida State. That season-opening win over Miami? Pure mirage. The Seminoles ended with their first three-game losing streak in 22 years. Bobby Bowden will now get all the age questions that Paterno was hearing.

3. Purdue. Not having Michigan and Ohio State on the schedule was supposed to be an open door to the league title. Then came six straight losses.

P.S. Iowa, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Oklahoma ... there was no shortage this season of disappointments.

Items of questionable value

1. Conference championship games. Money-makers, and nothing else. Texas has already beaten Colorado 42-17. That merits a Big 12 sequel? And introducing the first ACC classic … with a Florida State team beaten 89-36 its last three games.

2. Replays. A good idea, but as overused as cellphones. Not every big play needs a two-minute review.

3. Big East automatic berth in the BCS. No disrespect to West Virginia. Fine team. But really, should Oregon be left out at 10-1, its only loss to USC, to guarantee room for a conference champion that had to hold off South Florida, Louisville and Rutgers to qualify?

Most deserving of a BCS at-large berth

1. Ohio State. Big Ten co-champions, with close defeats to Texas and Penn State. Should be a lock.

2. Oregon. The only blemish on a 10-1 record was a loss to USC. Who blemishes everybody.

3. Notre Dame. The 9-2 Irish had a grand season. The mystique is money in the bank. But the only teams with winning records they beat were Michigan, BYU and Navy. And the loss at home to 5-6 Michigan State was the least excusable of any of the top contenders. The Irish should be behind Oregon. But won't be.

Heisman ballot

1. Reggie Bush, USC. Averages 10 yards every time he touches the ball as a runner or receiver or returner. The 513 all-purpose yards against Fresno State was the gold standard in statement games.

2. Vince Young, Texas. He's No. 3 in the nation in pass efficiency and has more runs of over 30 yards than Bush.

3. Drew Olson, UCLA. How can a quarterback who has completed nearly 68% of his passes and has thrown for 30 touchdowns and only three interceptions be left off the ballot?

Alas, that means no vote left for Leinart, even with numbers comparable to last year when he won the Heisman. But if everything made sense, it wouldn't be college football.

Mike Lopresti writes for Gannett News Service