Top 10: summer jobs

[Letterman]

Now that the NCAA allows student-athletes to seek employment, the scope of jobs sought by student-athletes has continued to expand. With that in mind .... From the home office, High on the Hilltop, the top 10 summer jobs turned down by SMU athletes:

10. Matchmaker for Pat O'Brien

9. Security director for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (because they're trying so hard to stay out of the limelight)

8. Pitcher for the New York Yankees

7. Publicist for Paris Hilton and Paris Whatshisname (her fiance)

6. Film director for the San Francisco 49ers

5. Guest lecturer hired to explain the term "conflict of interest" to Larry Brown

4. Endorsement agent for any Formula One driver not named Danica Patrick

3. Line spaceholder so the geeks who stood in line for weeks for Star Wars tickets could go find food and a bathroom

2. Secret source for investigative government reporters

And the #1 job turned down by SMU athletes:

1. Integrity counselor for Paula Abdul

[Mustangs35SMU]

8. Pitcher for the New York Yankees

Great one there

[MrMustang1965]

Good to see ya back, Letterman! You've been missed. Ready to see your Top 10 for the 2005 season and the first game against the Baylor Bears.

[Water Pony]

5. Guest lecturer hired to explain the term "conflict of interest" to Larry Brown

Larry's impatience with timing is amazing. He expects his players to play "the right way" but won't apply it to himself.

# 11 Kellen Winslow Jr.'s motorcycle instructor

# 12 Kellen Winslow Sr's "tough love" media instructor

[Dark Horse]

MM65's right -- good to have you back.

And Water Pony stole my thunder -- I was a little disappointed that you didn't include the Winslow fiasco or the walking fiasco himself, Sean Taylor, in your list.

And no Terrell Owens holdout reference?

49ers and Paula Abdul lines are the best! (And as for the Star Wars geeks: there were some camped out at a theater near my house for two weeks before the opening show .... the mind boggles.)

[overcusser]

How about the classic college football summer job...

Irrigation systems visual inspector. (watching the lawn sprinklers go on & off)

[The Q]

Only missing references are to the painfully unwatchable Britney Spears TV show and Onterrio Smith, he of the "Original Whizzinator."
Great stuff -- keep 'em coming.

[EastStang]

Are you talking about Sean "Why can't I shoot them, they stole my car" Taylor? Sean "Why should I call my Coach back" Taylor? Joe Gibbs may be about ready to dump him. I noticed he has been "excused" from all offseason workouts.

[Buddha]

No way they dump him -- too much money tied up in him. If they were to cut him to make a statement, the remaining money on his contract all hits against next year's cap, and I think Washington is in a worse cap situation in 2006 than any team in the NFL. His deal was for $19 million in salary with incentives that could push the total value up to $40 million, and there's some elaborate formula with which the NFL would determine which of those incentives are "reasonably reachable" -- and those also would kick in against the cap. So you're looking at .... $25-30 million, probably, for one guy to NOT play for the team. They'd have to cut half their roster (and then eat the cap hits for the remaining years on those contracts. Not going to happen. Presumably Drew Rosenhaus will realize at some point that Taylor needs to show up for either of them to get paid. I would hate to be Taylor if/when he does make an appearance. Gibbs is a nice man, by all accounts, but I imagine he'd have no trouble getting his point across.

What a classy kid this guy is. Glad he's a Redskin.

[EastStang]

I suspect their Defensive Coordinator (who is supposedly a real tough guy) will be the one who gives Sean the treatment. I think I heard on talk radio here in DC that the cap hit would be about $9 Million for 2006.

[Horseshoe]

.... 8. Pitcher for the New York Yankees ....

What's happened to those boys? Not that I don't like seeing them lose -- I do -- but anyone who says they saw this start coming for the Y's is lying. There's too much talent there.

[MrMustang1965]

There's too much talent there.

Too much $$$, too. Steinbrenner is getting what he's paid for...and Texas Rangers fans are laughing!

[PonyTales]

There's too much talent there.

Too much $$$, too. Steinbrenner is getting what he's paid for...and Texas Rangers fans are laughing!

Giggle all you want about A-Rod and his mega-bucks and the strain of living in New York and the revelations about him seeking therapy and the fact that he'll always be Jeter's caddy in New York, etc., but he's having a great year. He very well could lead the AL in home runs, slugging percentage and RBI, and he could well end up as MVP .... even if the Yankees continue to lay an egg in the standings.

[DallasDiehard]

.... 6. Film director for the San Francisco 49ers ....

The amazing thing on this one is that it isn't the first time such a film has been produced by that team. Isn't this the third or fourth "episode" of the film? Sounds like the PR guy who lost his job needs to get a grip on the idea of separating work from his personal life.