UTEP humor

[Sam I Am]

Q: Do you know what you get musically when you drop a piano down a coal shaft?

A: A flat miner.

OK, ponies, drop you bombs. UTEP's coming.

[Water Pony]

UTEP goes mining in Dallas and finds Fool's Gold down an empty shaft.

[smupony94]

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender.

"Well, we got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two beers.

He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!"

The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.

"I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first"

[MrMustang1965]

A guy gets a job at a remote mining camp.

After a couple of days work, he goes into the local bar, has a few beers, and asks a local about the lack of woman in the camp."No women for 200 miles" says the local.

"What does a man do for sex?"

The local points to a large barrel in the corner."Just put ya [deleted] in the hole in the side. Any day except Thursday."

The guy wanders over,pokes his [deleted] in the hole, and within 2 minutes,blows his lolly.

"Christ,thats not bad" he thinks.

He returns the next two nights,and gets the same result.On the third night,he asked the local if the barrel was free.

"Yup, like I said, any day except Thursday"

"Why not Thursdays?"the guy asks.

"Cause Thursdays your day in the barrel."

[SWC2010]

Yes, I could have been a judge but I never had the Latin, never had the Latin for the judgin', I never had it, so I'd had it, as far as bein' a judge was concerned.

I just never had sufficient of it to get through the rigourous judging exams. They're noted for their rigour. People come out staggering and saying "My God, what a rigourous exam!" - and so I became a miner instead.

I managed to get through the mining exams--they're not rigourous, they only ask one question, they say, "Who are you", and I got 75 per cent on that.

I'd rather have been a judge than a miner, though. Being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go.

Well, the very opposite applies with judges.

[smupony94]

I googled miner humor and got this joke - don;t know what the joke said as I am staring at the young ladies

http://www.abum.com/show/2629/goldminer.swf

[smupony94]

Sorry, it is a game called Gold Miner

[smupony94]

PLease explain this joke to me -

Miner #1: Where are you going with your swim trunks and tennis racquet?

Miner #2: To mining camp!

[sam]

A miner was captured by the great Indian Chief Geronimo. Geronimo speaking in broken english he says"ugh white man,I am going to kill you,but I no savage,I give you three wishes first,what first wish"? The miner thinks for a moment and says " I want to speak to my trusted mule Bill" They bring the mule over and the miner leans over and whispers in his ear and Bill and runs off. The next day Bill returns with a half dressed beautiful blond women on his back. Geronimo says "great trick white man what next wish"? The miner says" I want to speak to my trusted mule Bill" They bring the mule over and the miner again leans over and whispers in his ear and like a flash the mule turns and runs off. The next day the mule returns with a red-head wearing even fewer clothes than the blond. Geronimo says "good trick white man,what next wish"? The miner says" I want to speak with my trusted mule Bill" They bring him over and the miner grabs him by the head and shouts in his ear"listen you dumb son of a [deleted] I said bring me a POSSE!

[MrMustang1965]

A tough old miner counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of dynamite powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grand-children, 45 great grandchildren, 25 great-great grand children, and a 15 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.