and ... football in the Southwest
Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2002 5:35 pmSouthern Football
(1) What does the average University of Houston player get on his SATs?
Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get a Rice cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push like hell.
(4) How do you get a TCU graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
(5) Why do the Texas Tech cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.
(6) Why is the Baylor football team like a opossum?
Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of a Texas A&M football player's life?
His freshman year.
(8) How many Baylor freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None . . . That's a sophomore course at Baylor.
(9) Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?
Lubbock, Texas . . . He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.
AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)
(10) Why did Texas choose orange as its team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week!
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Thank you, thank you. I'll be opening at the Laugh Shack in Reno all next week. Two-drink minimum, and be sure to tip your waitress.
(1) What does the average University of Houston player get on his SATs?
Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get a Rice cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push like hell.
(4) How do you get a TCU graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
(5) Why do the Texas Tech cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.
(6) Why is the Baylor football team like a opossum?
Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of a Texas A&M football player's life?
His freshman year.
(8) How many Baylor freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None . . . That's a sophomore course at Baylor.
(9) Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?
Lubbock, Texas . . . He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.
AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)
(10) Why did Texas choose orange as its team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week!
-------------------------------------
Thank you, thank you. I'll be opening at the Laugh Shack in Reno all next week. Two-drink minimum, and be sure to tip your waitress.