Top 10

[Letterman]

From the home office in Dallas Texas, here are the top 10 reasons SMU will win Saturday:

10. It's Homecoming. You always schedule a win for Homecoming.
9. Quarterbacks named McCown haven't had a whole lot of success here.
8. LaTech has vastly inferior uniforms to the SMU threads.
7. Rainy weather and sneaky insertion of a Nerf football will ground the LaTech passing game.
6. After returning two interceptions for touchdowns, Rolando HUMP-hrey will depress the LaTech players by unveiling his new "HUMP-ty Dance."
5. LaTech players gleefully chow down on Exlax-laden pizzas and cases of beer sent by a crank caller to their hotel rooms the night before the game, and wake up full and hung over.
4. LaTech's inspiring Bulldog mascot kidnapped and replaced by miniature poodle.
3. LaTech head coach Jack Bicknell starts to believe casino commercial played repeatedly over Ford Stadium P.A. that ends with the line "You Don't Know Jack."
2. Ponies get emotional lift when Phil Bennett whips Bicknell in a pre-game wrestling match at midfield.

And the No. 1 reason SMU will beat Louisiana Tech Saturday:

Three words: No Pregame Fireworks

[Silk]

That's awesome! Funniest post I've read in ages.

[DallasDiehard]

Letterman, you didn't really make a "Humpty Dance" reference, did you?