Top 10: UTEP
Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2002 5:40 pmFrom the home office, high on The Hilltop, the Top 10 reasons SMU will beat UTEP:
10. SMU's offense has struggled to score this year, but UTEP's giving up 43 points per game — Richard Bartel and Keylon Kincade evoke memories of Don Meredith and Eric Dickerson
9. Starting D.D. Lee and D.D. Johnson at linebacker inspires UTEP head coach Gary Nord to shake his head and mutter "they've just got too much 'D' "
8. El Paso native Matt Rushbrook reverts back to look from freshman year that earned him the nickname "Slim Shady" — UTEP players stay up all night waiting in line to buy non-existent Eminem tickets, have no energy left to play
7. Sneaky SMU defensive players ask UTEP huddle the play and the count on which the ball will be snapped — inexperienced UTEP QB Omar Duarte tells them
6. UTEP's talented-but-scrawny RB Howard Jackson (5-10, 155) takes one look at DE Melvin Williams and thinks "damn, that guy's huge" and fakes an injury in fear
5. Advance copy of Sunday's headine: "SMU gives Miners the Shaft"
4. Salsa-laden pre-game meal leaves UTEP players making repeated "runs for the border," so to speak
3. DE (and El Paso native) Don Ieremia-Stansbury registers four sacks, returns a fumble for a touchdown (that's NOT called back) and struts to midfield announcing Sun Bowl is "my house"
2. Realizing that the Miners are averaging just 1.7 points in the fourth quarter this year, savvy SMU game captains Lute Croy and John Hampton convince the Miners during the coin toss that the first three quarters were cancelled, and that the teams will just play a 60-minute 4th quarter
And the #1 reason SMU will beat UTEP this weekend:
1. Surprise addition to the SMU secondary: Winona Ryder
[This message has been edited by Letterman (edited 11-13-2002).]
10. SMU's offense has struggled to score this year, but UTEP's giving up 43 points per game — Richard Bartel and Keylon Kincade evoke memories of Don Meredith and Eric Dickerson
9. Starting D.D. Lee and D.D. Johnson at linebacker inspires UTEP head coach Gary Nord to shake his head and mutter "they've just got too much 'D' "
8. El Paso native Matt Rushbrook reverts back to look from freshman year that earned him the nickname "Slim Shady" — UTEP players stay up all night waiting in line to buy non-existent Eminem tickets, have no energy left to play
7. Sneaky SMU defensive players ask UTEP huddle the play and the count on which the ball will be snapped — inexperienced UTEP QB Omar Duarte tells them
6. UTEP's talented-but-scrawny RB Howard Jackson (5-10, 155) takes one look at DE Melvin Williams and thinks "damn, that guy's huge" and fakes an injury in fear
5. Advance copy of Sunday's headine: "SMU gives Miners the Shaft"
4. Salsa-laden pre-game meal leaves UTEP players making repeated "runs for the border," so to speak
3. DE (and El Paso native) Don Ieremia-Stansbury registers four sacks, returns a fumble for a touchdown (that's NOT called back) and struts to midfield announcing Sun Bowl is "my house"
2. Realizing that the Miners are averaging just 1.7 points in the fourth quarter this year, savvy SMU game captains Lute Croy and John Hampton convince the Miners during the coin toss that the first three quarters were cancelled, and that the teams will just play a 60-minute 4th quarter
And the #1 reason SMU will beat UTEP this weekend:
1. Surprise addition to the SMU secondary: Winona Ryder
[This message has been edited by Letterman (edited 11-13-2002).]