Top 10: Spring practice surprises
Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2003 7:26 pmThe top 10 surprises revealed during SMU's spring workouts:
10. New practice-field tackling dummy: ill-fated Mustang Maniac mascot
9. Mustang Band to select new fight song while attending Dallas Museum of Art's "Jazz Under the Stars" series
8. Dallas Morning News beat writer Rick Alonzo begins identifying himself in all stories as being "embedded with the SMU Mustangs"
7. San Jose State's claim to be an institution of higher education that cares about its atletes' academic performance proven to have as much validity as Emmitt Smith's claim that his top priority when choosing a new employer was "a chance to win" and not a transparent desire for more money or the chance to pad his statistics
6. Credit-card purchase of new uniforms gives athletic department enough frequent flyer miles to cover entire season's travel budget
5. School issues fake student IDs to BUS and PX so they can fulfill BUS's offer of suiting up as defensive line fill-ins
4. In a flashback induced by the new uniforms and his background at Ole Miss, President Turner is heard referring to Richard Bartel as "Eli"
3. After mistakenly Powder Puff sorority football game, Texas Rangers scout signs Chi-O quarterback as a relief pitcher, because she has a better arm than anyone in their bullpen
2. Newly-added kick-blocking specialists: Patrick Simpson and Justin Isham
And the #1 surprise revealed during SMU's spring workouts:
1. Coach Bennett's now-famous moustache: a lip toupee!
[This message has been edited by Letterman (edited 03-30-2003).]
10. New practice-field tackling dummy: ill-fated Mustang Maniac mascot
9. Mustang Band to select new fight song while attending Dallas Museum of Art's "Jazz Under the Stars" series
8. Dallas Morning News beat writer Rick Alonzo begins identifying himself in all stories as being "embedded with the SMU Mustangs"
7. San Jose State's claim to be an institution of higher education that cares about its atletes' academic performance proven to have as much validity as Emmitt Smith's claim that his top priority when choosing a new employer was "a chance to win" and not a transparent desire for more money or the chance to pad his statistics
6. Credit-card purchase of new uniforms gives athletic department enough frequent flyer miles to cover entire season's travel budget
5. School issues fake student IDs to BUS and PX so they can fulfill BUS's offer of suiting up as defensive line fill-ins
4. In a flashback induced by the new uniforms and his background at Ole Miss, President Turner is heard referring to Richard Bartel as "Eli"
3. After mistakenly Powder Puff sorority football game, Texas Rangers scout signs Chi-O quarterback as a relief pitcher, because she has a better arm than anyone in their bullpen
2. Newly-added kick-blocking specialists: Patrick Simpson and Justin Isham
And the #1 surprise revealed during SMU's spring workouts:
1. Coach Bennett's now-famous moustache: a lip toupee!
[This message has been edited by Letterman (edited 03-30-2003).]