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Easy, guys.. Paul Johnson puts his pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once his pants are on, he wins bowl games.

Alright, here we go.

Babies.. before we're done here.. y'all be wearing gold-plated diapers with C-USA titles on them!

We need more cowbell!!!

I've got a fever...

In Memoriam: Gene Frenkle: 1950-2000

Announcer: After a series of staggering defeats, The SMU Mustangs assembled at Gerald J. Ford Stadium in late 2007 for a session with famed head Coach Paul Johnson. And, luckily for us, the cameras were rolling.

Paul Johnson: Alright, guys, I think we're ready to lay this first formation down. By the way, my name is Paul Johnson. Yes, the Paul Johnson. And I gotta tell you: fellas.. you have got what appears to be a dynamite offense!

James Mapps: Coming from you, Paul, that means a lot.

Emmanuel Sanders: Yeah. I mean, you're Paul Johnson!

Demyron Martin: It's incredible!

Jessie Henderson: I can't believe Paul Johnson digs our offense!

Paul Johnson: Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I win bowl games. [ the group laughs ] Alright, here we go.

James Mapps: [ distracted by Willis calling the option right] Okay! Wait! Wait! Coach, could you come in here for a minute, please?

Paul Johnson: That was gonna be a great play. Guys, what's the deal?

James Mapps: Are you sure that was going okay?

Paul Johnson: I'll be honest.. fellas, it was going great. But.. I could've used a little more wishbone. So.. let's take it again.. and, Justin.

Justin Willis: Yeah?

Paul Johnson: Really explore the space this time. I mean, really.. explore the space. I like what I'm seeing.

James Mapps: Okay, wait! Stop! I'm sorry. Coach, could you come back here, please?

Paul Johnson: Fellas.. now, we just wasted two good plays! That last one was even better than the first!

James Mapps: Well, it's just that I find Justin’s wishbone distracting! If I'm the only one, I'll shut up.

Emmanuel Sanders: It was pretty rough..

Justin Willis: You know, I could pull back a little. If you'd like.

Paul Johnson: Not too much, though! Fellas, I'm telling you - you're gonna want that wishbone in theis offense!

Justin Willis: You know what? It's fine. Let's just do this thing.

James Mapps: Come on, people!

Paul Johnson: That.. that doesn't work for me. I gotta have more wishbone!

Demyron Martin: Don't blow this for us, Justin!

Jessie Henderson: [ cracks up ] Yeah, quit being so selfish, Justin!

Justin Willis: Can I just say one thing?

Paul Johnson: Say it, baby. Say it.

Justin Willis: I'm standing here, staring at Paul Johnson!

Paul Johnson: The [deleted] of the walk, baby!

Justin Willis: And if Paul Johnson wants more wishbone, we should probably give him more wishbone!

Paul Johnson: Say it, baby!

Justin Willis: And, Jessie, you are right - I am being selfish. But the last time I checked, we don't have a whole lot of formations that feature the wishbone.

Paul Johnson: I gotta have more wishbone, baby!

Justin Willis: ..and I'll be doing myself a disservice -- and every member in this team, if I don't perform the hell out of this.

Paul Johnson: Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more wishbone!

Justin Willis: Thanks, Coach. But I think, maybe if I just leave.. and, maybe I'll come back later, and we can lay down the wishbone. [ starts to leave the studio ]

Paul Johnson: Aw, baby..

James Mapps: Justin, wait! Why don't you lay down that wishbone right now. With us. Together.

[ everyone agrees ]

Justin Willis: Do you mean that, Mapps?

Emmanuel Sanders: He speaks for all of us.

Justin Willis: Thank you.

Paul Johnson: Babies.. before we're done here.. y'all be wearing gold-plated diapers.

Demyron Martin: [ confused ] What does that mean?

Paul Johnson: Never question Paul Johnson! Roll it!

James Mapps: 1, 2, 3, 4.

brilliant

The greatest post I've ever read.....ever.

Kudos to PonyinNC for getting this started . . .

Awesome.

PonyTime wrote:Kudos to PonyinNC for getting this started . . .

I do what I can...

For your viewing pleasure, please visit the "secret coach" thread that I started as well.

i <3 Paul Johnson

PonyTime wrote:Announcer: After a series of staggering defeats, The SMU Mustangs assembled at Gerald J. Ford Stadium in late 2007 for a session with famed head Coach Paul Johnson. And, luckily for us, the cameras were rolling.

Paul Johnson: Alright, guys, I think we're ready to lay this first formation down. By the way, my name is Paul Johnson. Yes, the Paul Johnson. And I gotta tell you: fellas.. you have got what appears to be a dynamite offense!

James Mapps: Coming from you, Paul, that means a lot.

Emmanuel Sanders: Yeah. I mean, you're Paul Johnson!

Demyron Martin: It's incredible!

Jessie Henderson: I can't believe Paul Johnson digs our offense!

Paul Johnson: Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I win bowl games. [ the group laughs ] Alright, here we go.

James Mapps: [ distracted by Willis calling the option right] Okay! Wait! Wait! Coach, could you come in here for a minute, please?

Paul Johnson: That was gonna be a great play. Guys, what's the deal?

James Mapps: Are you sure that was going okay?

Paul Johnson: I'll be honest.. fellas, it was going great. But.. I could've used a little more wishbone. So.. let's take it again.. and, Justin.

Justin Willis: Yeah?

Paul Johnson: Really explore the space this time. I mean, really.. explore the space. I like what I'm seeing.

James Mapps: Okay, wait! Stop! I'm sorry. Coach, could you come back here, please?

Paul Johnson: Fellas.. now, we just wasted two good plays! That last one was even better than the first!

James Mapps: Well, it's just that I find Justin’s wishbone distracting! If I'm the only one, I'll shut up.

Emmanuel Sanders: It was pretty rough..

Justin Willis: You know, I could pull back a little. If you'd like.

Paul Johnson: Not too much, though! Fellas, I'm telling you - you're gonna want that wishbone in theis offense!

Justin Willis: You know what? It's fine. Let's just do this thing.

James Mapps: Come on, people!

Paul Johnson: That.. that doesn't work for me. I gotta have more wishbone!

Demyron Martin: Don't blow this for us, Justin!

Jessie Henderson: [ cracks up ] Yeah, quit being so selfish, Justin!

Justin Willis: Can I just say one thing?

Paul Johnson: Say it, baby. Say it.

Justin Willis: I'm standing here, staring at Paul Johnson!

Paul Johnson: The [deleted] of the walk, baby!

Justin Willis: And if Paul Johnson wants more wishbone, we should probably give him more wishbone!

Paul Johnson: Say it, baby!

Justin Willis: And, Jessie, you are right - I am being selfish. But the last time I checked, we don't have a whole lot of formations that feature the wishbone.

Paul Johnson: I gotta have more wishbone, baby!

Justin Willis: ..and I'll be doing myself a disservice -- and every member in this team, if I don't perform the hell out of this.

Paul Johnson: Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more wishbone!

Justin Willis: Thanks, Coach. But I think, maybe if I just leave.. and, maybe I'll come back later, and we can lay down the wishbone. [ starts to leave the studio ]

Paul Johnson: Aw, baby..

James Mapps: Justin, wait! Why don't you lay down that wishbone right now. With us. Together.

[ everyone agrees ]

Justin Willis: Do you mean that, Mapps?

Emmanuel Sanders: He speaks for all of us.

Justin Willis: Thank you.

Paul Johnson: Babies.. before we're done here.. y'all be wearing gold-plated diapers.

Demyron Martin: [ confused ] What does that mean?

Paul Johnson: Never question Paul Johnson! Roll it!

James Mapps: 1, 2, 3, 4.

A+ squared - you rock!