Top 10: Surprises if SMU moves to C-USA
Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2003 4:53 pmWith all the speculation about realignment and conference shuffling, there's been a lot of talk about the possibility of SMU moving to Conference USA. If that does in deed happen ....
From the home office, High on the Hilltop, the Top 10 surprises awaiting SMU as a new member of Conference USA:
10. Marquette fans, who consume unbelievable quantities of Old Milwaukee and Milwaukee's Best beers, still have the nerve to make fun of Lone Star beer (and mistakenly assume SMU fans drink the stuff)
9. Befuddled Southern Miss fans go into a coma trying to distinguish between "SMU" and "USM"
8. After years as soccer rivals, SMU fans still can't figure out what the hell a (St. Louis) Billiken is
7. Cincinnati fans stare in blank confusion when SMU athletes are listed as "student-athletes"
6. University of South Florida membership indicates there's such thing as "North Florida"
5. UL Cardinal fans baffled by revelation that Dallas suburb is actually pronounced "Lewisville" instead of the more familiar "LOOvull"
4. All Memphis coaches required to appear at games and media functions sporting Elvis-esque hairstyles and sideburns
3. Because of frigid upstate New York winters and those Astroturf-length haircuts, Army players wear electronically heated helmets
2. TCU fans actually have the nerve to do that silly knuckles-up hand signal for the Horned Frogs in public.
And the #1 surprise awaiting SMU as a new member of Conference:
1. University of Alabama fans -- still red-faced over their team's declining performance in recent years and the whole Mike Price saga -- thump their chests with pride, claiming "at least we don't follow UAB!"
From the home office, High on the Hilltop, the Top 10 surprises awaiting SMU as a new member of Conference USA:
10. Marquette fans, who consume unbelievable quantities of Old Milwaukee and Milwaukee's Best beers, still have the nerve to make fun of Lone Star beer (and mistakenly assume SMU fans drink the stuff)
9. Befuddled Southern Miss fans go into a coma trying to distinguish between "SMU" and "USM"
8. After years as soccer rivals, SMU fans still can't figure out what the hell a (St. Louis) Billiken is
7. Cincinnati fans stare in blank confusion when SMU athletes are listed as "student-athletes"
6. University of South Florida membership indicates there's such thing as "North Florida"
5. UL Cardinal fans baffled by revelation that Dallas suburb is actually pronounced "Lewisville" instead of the more familiar "LOOvull"
4. All Memphis coaches required to appear at games and media functions sporting Elvis-esque hairstyles and sideburns
3. Because of frigid upstate New York winters and those Astroturf-length haircuts, Army players wear electronically heated helmets
2. TCU fans actually have the nerve to do that silly knuckles-up hand signal for the Horned Frogs in public.
And the #1 surprise awaiting SMU as a new member of Conference:
1. University of Alabama fans -- still red-faced over their team's declining performance in recent years and the whole Mike Price saga -- thump their chests with pride, claiming "at least we don't follow UAB!"
GO MUSTANGS!
