Top 10: UTEP
Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2003 9:33 pmFrom the home office, High on the Hilltop, the Top 10 little-known facts about the University of Texas-El Paso and its football program:
10. Drug Enforcement Agency officers interrupt practice when they notice "Herb City" written on team documents; embarrassed officers leave when they learned Herb City is a reserve defensive back for the Miners
9. Head coach Gary Nord reveals his family legally assumed surname after admitting to long-held fascination with former Domino's Pizza spokesfreak "The Noid"
8. Athletic officials ashamed when comparing football media guides with those from other schools. SMU's media guide features a couple of pages of Dallas entertainment options: Mavericks, Cowboys, Rangers, etc; UTEP media guide mentions cultural icons on display in El Paso, including: Justin Timberlake, Shakira and the ever-popular Ricky Martin
(Actually, there's no joke here .... these guys really are in the UTEP media guide, and, well, I just find that funny)
7. DB Matt Elwood gives up dream of filming "Blues Brothers 3" when he wanders the halls of UTEP's theater department, hopelessly searching for a student whose last name is "Jake"
6. Head coach Gary Nord was the only coach in the country to ignore an unsolicited letter from Scottie Pippen, urging schools not to recruit QB Jordan Palmer because, as Pippen wrote: "Jordan doesn't pass"
5. Junior DE Ibok Ibok can't understand why every single one of his teammates have last names different from their first names
4. When reviewing lists of all-time placekicking leaders, coaches and players aren't allowed to say the name of former UTEP and NFL star "Chris Jacke" -- because once they do, they just can't stop giggling
3. QB Orlando Cruz insists that his uncle's presence as UTEP quarterbacks coach has nothing to do with his place on team; suggests instead that Rush Limbaugh is "desirous" of having Cruz play (and play well)
2. Junior WR Dirk Dillard never answers calls from telemarketers, who just can't resist asking how cool it was to have the movie "Boogie Nights" written about his life
And the #1 little-known fact about UTEP football:
1. School officials reveal that former coach Charlie Bailey was fired after the 1999 season when athletic department officials learned that he actually told the referees before a game that "all Miners get to have one of those handy little lights on the fronts of their helmets" -- and was subsequently ejected before the game even started
<small>[ 10-02-2003, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Letterman ]</small>
10. Drug Enforcement Agency officers interrupt practice when they notice "Herb City" written on team documents; embarrassed officers leave when they learned Herb City is a reserve defensive back for the Miners
9. Head coach Gary Nord reveals his family legally assumed surname after admitting to long-held fascination with former Domino's Pizza spokesfreak "The Noid"
8. Athletic officials ashamed when comparing football media guides with those from other schools. SMU's media guide features a couple of pages of Dallas entertainment options: Mavericks, Cowboys, Rangers, etc; UTEP media guide mentions cultural icons on display in El Paso, including: Justin Timberlake, Shakira and the ever-popular Ricky Martin
(Actually, there's no joke here .... these guys really are in the UTEP media guide, and, well, I just find that funny)
7. DB Matt Elwood gives up dream of filming "Blues Brothers 3" when he wanders the halls of UTEP's theater department, hopelessly searching for a student whose last name is "Jake"
6. Head coach Gary Nord was the only coach in the country to ignore an unsolicited letter from Scottie Pippen, urging schools not to recruit QB Jordan Palmer because, as Pippen wrote: "Jordan doesn't pass"
5. Junior DE Ibok Ibok can't understand why every single one of his teammates have last names different from their first names
4. When reviewing lists of all-time placekicking leaders, coaches and players aren't allowed to say the name of former UTEP and NFL star "Chris Jacke" -- because once they do, they just can't stop giggling
3. QB Orlando Cruz insists that his uncle's presence as UTEP quarterbacks coach has nothing to do with his place on team; suggests instead that Rush Limbaugh is "desirous" of having Cruz play (and play well)
2. Junior WR Dirk Dillard never answers calls from telemarketers, who just can't resist asking how cool it was to have the movie "Boogie Nights" written about his life
And the #1 little-known fact about UTEP football:
1. School officials reveal that former coach Charlie Bailey was fired after the 1999 season when athletic department officials learned that he actually told the referees before a game that "all Miners get to have one of those handy little lights on the fronts of their helmets" -- and was subsequently ejected before the game even started
<small>[ 10-02-2003, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Letterman ]</small>
