Top 10: Coach Austin Adami
Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 2:31 amTuesday's Dallas Morning News is reporting that former star SMU offensive lineman Austin Adami has joined head coach Phil Bennett's staff as a graduate assistant. With that in mind ....
From the home office, High on the Hilltop, the Top 10 revelations about new SMU graduate assistant coach Austin Adami:
10. His head swells a little everytime an SMU coach says -- referring to Townsend Hargis -- "I want to see everyone blocking like #70!"
9. He'll learn quickly on the first day of 2-a-day preseason workouts that the golf cart with the cooler of ice water is designated for the HEAD coach
8. He arrived with a bit more swagger than most graduate assistants, telling anyone who will listen: "Hey, that Forrest Gregg guy was never the subject of a PonyFans.com Top 10 list!"
7. He'll get thrown out of coaches' recruiting meetings, when he follows the description and analysis of every player by shouting "I don't care if he is a 5-star on rivals.com, he'd barely make the JV team at Corpus Christi Calallen!"
6. He'll quickly learn that now that he's a coach, hitting on cheerleaders during games gets you fired, not benched
5. Now that he's a coach, he no longer will feel the urge to raise his hand when Coach Bennett asks "OK, who wants to comb my lunch out of my mustache?"
4. Lifting weights now consists only of endless 12-ounce curls
3. He was relieved to get the job, considering his competition for the position was that former linebacker who married Britney Spears
2. He'll lose some friends when he mistakenly assumes that it's now perfectly acceptable to wear a hat, a whistle and some of those waaaaay-too-tight coach's shorts to former teammates' weddings
And the #1 revelation about new SMU graduate assistant coach Austin Adami:
1. If his brother Allan doesn't call him "Coach" at family gatherings, he can make Allan run sprints until he pukes!
<small>[ 01-13-2004, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: Letterman ]</small>
From the home office, High on the Hilltop, the Top 10 revelations about new SMU graduate assistant coach Austin Adami:
10. His head swells a little everytime an SMU coach says -- referring to Townsend Hargis -- "I want to see everyone blocking like #70!"
9. He'll learn quickly on the first day of 2-a-day preseason workouts that the golf cart with the cooler of ice water is designated for the HEAD coach
8. He arrived with a bit more swagger than most graduate assistants, telling anyone who will listen: "Hey, that Forrest Gregg guy was never the subject of a PonyFans.com Top 10 list!"
7. He'll get thrown out of coaches' recruiting meetings, when he follows the description and analysis of every player by shouting "I don't care if he is a 5-star on rivals.com, he'd barely make the JV team at Corpus Christi Calallen!"
6. He'll quickly learn that now that he's a coach, hitting on cheerleaders during games gets you fired, not benched
5. Now that he's a coach, he no longer will feel the urge to raise his hand when Coach Bennett asks "OK, who wants to comb my lunch out of my mustache?"
4. Lifting weights now consists only of endless 12-ounce curls
3. He was relieved to get the job, considering his competition for the position was that former linebacker who married Britney Spears
2. He'll lose some friends when he mistakenly assumes that it's now perfectly acceptable to wear a hat, a whistle and some of those waaaaay-too-tight coach's shorts to former teammates' weddings
And the #1 revelation about new SMU graduate assistant coach Austin Adami:
1. If his brother Allan doesn't call him "Coach" at family gatherings, he can make Allan run sprints until he pukes!
<small>[ 01-13-2004, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: Letterman ]</small>