PonyFans.com

back in the good 'ol days of the SWC, it was tradition to share among friends and acquaintances the buffoonery that is Texas A&M...in view of our first opponent, it seems appropriate that we should indulge again.

I propose a bit of a contest, from now until September 3 at 10 am CST, that those jokes posted here be judged by Mrydel and ponyte as to content/relevancy/and overall humor, with a winner selected and announced.

The winner selected must be present at the game, and will receive a gift certificate for two at College Station's finest chicken establishment, Layne's.


just to start things off:

What is the difference between Aggies and Rice Crispies?
...Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl...

I'll be here all week...tip your waiter...try the veal...

What do Aggies think Cheerios are?
Donut seeds.

How can you tell when an Aggie has used your computer?

There's "White-Out" all over the screen.

How do you get a one-armed Aggie out of a tree?

wave to him

abezontar wrote:How do you get a one-armed Aggie out of a tree?

wave to him

LOL.

An Aggie and a Mustang were sitting in a bar drinking beer and watching TV. The Newscast is covering the story of a man on the ledge of a building, threatening to jump. The Mustang turns to the aggie and says: "I'll bet you a hundrey bucks that he jumps." The aggie says "I'll take that bet!" a few minutes later the guy jumps to his death. The aggie pulls out the hundred bucks he had leftover from financial aid, and gives it to the Mustang.

Feeling a bit guilty the Mustang says "I can't take your money. That wasn't a live broadcast, and I'd already seen how it ended" "No, keep the money" replied the aggie, "I'd seen it earlier too, and thought there was no way he'd jump again."

-CoS

The star football player for the Aggies was failing his math class at the semester and had to pass his exam in order to play in the game that weekend at Kyle Field. The professor and the school board get together and decide to ask him one question at halftime of the game. If the aggie answers the question correctly, he passes and can play. However, if he answers incorrectly he fails the course and is ineligible. Well the game finally rolls around and everyone is anxious about the question.
At halftime the player and his professor go to the center of the field and over the loudspeaker the professor asks the question "What is two plus two?" The aggie thinks and thinks, finally he asks the professor if he can use a calculator. The professor says "No, your time is up". In desperation the aggie shouts into the microphone "Four!"

With that Kyle Field erupts into the chant of "Give him another chance, give him another chance!"

An Aggie had just completed his studies and was awarded a BS Degree in mechanical engineering. He was immediately hired by the Texas highway department.

His job was to paint the yellow stripe down the middle of the highway. After three days, his boss called him in and advised him that he was no longer needed.

When the Aggie inquired as to the reason for his dismissal, the boss replied, "On your first day here, you painted three miles of stripe, which is good. On your second day, you painted two miles; not as good, but still acceptable. Today, you only painted one mile. This is too far below our standards."

The Aggie accepted the explanation, saying on his way out the door, "Well, alright, but I want you to know, it wasn't my fault. The paint can kept getting farther away."

An Aggie and another fellow are out working on the fenceline when they notice a cow with its head stuck between the wires of the fence. The one fellow (a Horned Frog if my memory serves me correctly) goes over to the cow in distress, pulls down his pants and proceeds to have his way with the forlorn cow.

After a while, the Frog goes back over the to the Aggie and says "You want to get yourself some of this action?". To which the Aggie replies, "You betcha!".

And then the Aggie proceeds to pull down his pants and...

stick his head between the wires on the fence.

Why is Texas A&M replacing the turf in their stadium with cardboard?

The team looks better on paper.

Two Aggie football players were out in College Station partying. They were hootin' and hollering' when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took 2 months. "2 months?!?" exclaimed the bartender. The aggie replied, "Yeah, but the box said 4-6 years."

How many aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One Hundred ...

One to turn the light bulb and ninety-nine to tell him about the A&M tradition behind screwing in light bulbs.

Why did the Aggies replace the grass on the football field with artifical turf? So the homecoming queen would stop grazing.

What is the definition of an Aggie galloping gourmet? An Aggie chasing a trash truck

PonyPlayer4 wrote:Two Aggie football players were out in College Station partying. They were hootin' and hollering' when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took 2 months. "2 months?!?" exclaimed the bartender. The aggie replied, "Yeah, but the box said 4-6 years."

googled it