NOW PLAYING.....

[leopold]

Saw this movie last night. Some of you of a certain age may appreciate this……

It's "THE THREE AMIGOS" starring the remaining Big XII!

STARRING:

TEXAS as "El Guapo"

Vain, evil assclown. A Poncho Villa wannabe who looks in the mirror and sees Sam Elliot. Surrounded and followed by clueless sycophants, rejects and people desperate to make a peso off him, but truly believes they are following him for his leadership and genius. Believes himself to be “Handsome” but has to threaten enslaved Mexican women with death to get laid.

OKLAHOMA as: “Heffe”


Doofish kiss-ass lackey who has hitched his wagon to a tin-pot dictator and doesn’t know when to get the hell out – “I’m still here El Guapo!” For his part, El Guapo looks down him but keeps him around because he makes him look educated: "Do you know what a plethora is? " It's kinda like a conference, [deleted]....
In a desperate play for for love and acceptance, he gives his boss a sweater.

OKLAHOMA STATE as: “The Sweater”
El Guapo doesn’t want it. El Guapo doesn’t need it. But he’ll smile and take it for P.R.’s sake, then use it for toilet paper when there’s nothing but a cactus handy.

MISSOURI as: “Lucky Day.”

Not nearly as rich, powerful, and clever as he thinks he is. Lucky tried to pull a fast one on Harry Flugleman (Jim Delaney) who promptly threw his a$s out on the street. Forced to work with El Guapo, who he thinks is a star; doesn’t realize El Guapo plans to kill him. When he finds out the truth, starts crying in public.

TEXAS TECH as “Dusty Bottoms”

Dumb, horny, fake cowboy who you can actually picture raping horses and riding off on women. Idolized by poor Mexican women everywhere (UTEP) for making it despite his utter lack of vision and initiative, he’s only working with El Guapo because he doesn’t know what else to do. Lip Balm, you as$hole?

BAYLOR as “Ned Nederlander”

Who gave this schmuck a role? Untalented, annoying jimmyhat whose mom got him the job. Thinks his part in this thing has made him world famous but couldn’t get arrested if he was standing naked with an erection in an elementary school. When people do recognize him, they try to kill him for being an imposter. Truly believes Texas is on his side in this whole thing:
“Tell us we will die like dogs!”
“You will die like dogs…”

KANSAS and KANSAS STATE as “The people of Santa Poco”

Not bad people really. Untouched by western civilization for centuries, they find themselves unprepared to deal with some hick from down south who is running their lives. Standing around waiting to get screwed, they try to figure out how their only real talent, sewing (basketball), is going to help them.

IOWAS STATE as “The Invisible Swordsman”

Nobody knows he’s there until he drops dead.

DAN BEBEE as “The Singing Bush”

Useless talking head nobody listens to. The Amigos and the people of Santa Poco have gone to him for help, but he can’t give directions, help, advice or so much as scratch his own balls. A stop on the tour.

BYU and NOTRE DAME as “The Germans”

Lily –white Europeans El Guapo hopes to hire to bring in more firepower, they take one look at “The Handsome” and his Merry Band of Beaners, see it for the nickel and dime operation it is and run for it. One of them (BYU) actually looked up to them at one point but now sees them as an imposter and tries to kill them. Good thing that they are headed out, too - Baylor is liable to commit fratricide.