Top 10: Signing Day surprises

[Letterman]

From the home office, High on the Hilltop, the Top 10 Signing Day surprises:

10: Zach Hall revealed as a linebacker prospect, not a new campus building
9. American Airlines head honcho Don Carty removed as freshman finance professor
8. TCU commitments upset to learn that signing a national letter-of-intent does NOT earn academic credit hours
7. Upcoming film based on Charlie Berry's surprise initiation into Chi Omega: "Charlie's Angels 3"
6. Cory Muse's national letter of intent arrives with the signature "Corey Feldman"
5. TCU coach Gary Patterson to star in football-based movie spin-off: "How To Lose A Recruit In 10 Days"
4. All 2003 signees required to participate in "Mustang Idol" competition at basketball games; Coach Bennett admits players were recruited in part for their singing voices
3. Players threatened to back out of commitment until Coach Bennett assured them that Mariah Carey will NOT emulate her upcoming NBA All-Star game caterwauling, where she's supposed to sing some hero-worship song to Michael Jordan, at any SMU games
2. Peruna added to track team as sprinter

And the #1 Signing Day surprise:

1. Players can now concentrate full-time on rumors of possible Brad Pitt-Jennifer Anniston split

[Ikus]

Letterman, you're disturbed.

And #5 is hilarious!

[Corso]

#4's not as ridiculous as you think. Charlie Berry sings in a band.

And #8 is a bull's-eye!