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The SMU men's basketball team knocked off Rice in the first round of the Conference USA Tournament. Up next is a rematch with Alabama-Birmingham. With that .... from the home office, High on the Hilltop, The Top 10 reasons the SMU Mustangs will knock off the UAB Blazers:

10. UAB guard Carldell "Squeaky" Johnson refuses to play, fearing he'll lose his effectiveness In the arena where mousse-dripping Memphis coach John Calipari coaches his home games

9. No way Bryan Hopkins is going to lose his last game against a team with a guy named "Marvett"

8. Architect of the UAB gameplan? Vince Young

7. UAB president calls for school-wide day of mourning after Canada's crushing upset of the United States in the Whocares Baseball Classic

6. After heckling from anti-UAB fans in Memphis, Blazers get out of town faster than LaVar Arrington

5. UAB forward Wen Mukubu learns the hard way of his prophetic powers, realizing the accuracy of his comment made while watching exhibition baseball: "If Barry Bonds can hit all those home runs without cheating, we can beat SMU in the postseason .... "

4. Blazers forfeit game, fearing $33 million Meadows donation includes gravity-defying jet packs for Mustangs

3. UAB head coach Mike Anderson has to report early for his other job as a running back for the Denver Broncos

2. Blazers admit "We're afraid of getting RACK-ed!"

And the #1 reason the SMU Mustangs will knock off the UAB Blazers:

1. UAB has no outside shooting after NCAA denied eligibility request for [deleted] Cheney

ughhh....terrible post. i liked the idea, went no where good

I disagree. #5 and #3 are good. (#1 is kind of a "gimme" .... you've done better, Letterman.) Hope you're dead-on with #2 -- another big game for The Rack!

I think #8 is the "gimme," not #1.

Nice Bonds reference -- always timely.

And in #9 .... where does a name like Marvett come from, anyway?

You've had better -- I give this one a solid B- .