Can We Hire Houston’s Strength and Conditioning Coach

Or possibly their Recruiting Coordinator?!? Their guys have facial hair, Adam’s Apples, muscles, and most look like they got out of the big house last Thursday. Men v boys. Can we get Bandy, Hunt, Ornei, and Shaggy some Jacks Burger House coupons and a Ted Williams Sears free weight set? Speaking of Shaggy, what’s with this incessant weak A ball / head fake every time you receive the rock? Just shoot it, dude.