Burger wars, re-visited

[whatasteve]

PX, your analysis of smoking is all wrong. It doesn't do anything to your tastebuds. On the contrary, smoking was created for the sole purpose of blocking the nasty taste of pickles and mushrooms. It's a way of preventing tastebud abuse.

[HorsePower]

When is Hooters going to appear on your list? PX undoubtedly will find a waitress he finds appealing, and the wings will make a great appetizer. And the beer is the coldest anywhere.

[PK]

Personally I would like to stay away from chains, but Hooter's does hold a certain appeal. Are their burgers worth a damn??

[GrapevineMustang]

I know what you're thinking, PK, but yes - their burgers are very good, at least at the location out near my house (and I assume they're the same everywhere.) Besides, the "appeal" you mention is also pretty good.
Check it out

[BiteMe]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Thumper:
<B>Sounds like you've got too much money on your hands, if you're willing to dump that kind of cash for dinner.</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Utterly ridiculous, as per usual. Too much money? Ha! Never in my life have I been upset because I left the house with too much moeny in my pocket. Thats a semi-famous quote, but at the moment I cant recall from who. So, lets take a poll, is there anyone in the reading audience who honestly believes they have too much money in their hands? Has anyone EVER thought that? No? Didnt think so.

Many people have come to me, though, and expressed doubt at the cost of a quality evening at the Cheescake Factory, so allow me to break it down for you:

Drinks for 2: $10 each.
Appetizer: $10 (average)
Entre: $10-15 each. I dont think the CF has any entrees less than $8.50, so with sales Tax 10 bucks is the minimum. The more expensive entrees can be over 20.
Dessert: $5 each. No point in going to the Cheesecake Factory if you arent going to try the cheesecake.
So, (10x2)+(10)+(15x2)+(5x2)=$70. Plus 15% gratuity brings us up to $80.50, 81 if you like round numbers, and want to look like a big spender in front of your date. HOWEVER! If you begin the evening by sampling some of the CF's specialty drinks, like the Mangorita, this total can skyrocket in a hurry, The special drinks can be 7-8 bucks a piece, and the more you drink, the more you want, and they cloud your mind, so you buy more stuff, and before you know it you're ordering a second piece of Cheesecake to take home with you, and.... and..... well, you get the picture, its a very vicious cycle.

Ok, gotta go back to work now. More words of wisdom and culinary appraisal later this evening.

[whatasteve]

Hear ye, hear ye: the new and official burger rankings have been tabulated, and stand as follows:

1. Uptown Bar & Grill
2. Jake's
3. Tipperary Inn
4. Joe Willy's
5. Two Rows
6. Campisi's
7. Cheesecake Factory
8. Snuffers

This week's offering was Joe Willy's, a staple in the diets of SMU students and alums. Damn, what a fine place that is. There's no need for a lengthy report here, other than to say they make one hell of a good burger. Still not perfect, but very tasty. PK got a tad upset because he had to build his own burger - they have a condiments bar for all the onions, tomatoes, mushrooms you could want. (Why anyone would ruin a good burger with 'shrooms is beyond me .... but I digress.) Anyway, the burger is very good. Good-size patty, and unlike some of the places we've tried, they actually understand the difference between rare and well-done. They even understand the difference between medium and medium-well -- which, if you're as particular as we are, is a huge asset.

The burger, as mentioned, arrives plain - you get to add all your toppings, so any shortcoming in the assembly (there's PK's favorite word again) is your own fault. As PK (I think) mentioned, the burger is a tad greasy, but as long as they don't go overkill, that's not necessarily bad. And as PX mentioned, the bun could be better. Very soft and plain. But very flavorful - much moreso than Cheesecake Factory, for example. I'd think that if you know how to order a burger that you like, it would be really tough to get one you don't enjoy.

And while you're there: Onion rings are mandatory.

That is all. Eat well and enjoy.

[PK]

Okay, okay...yes, I do deduct points for having to put my hamburger together, but the finished product in this case was quite tasty although the grease was running down my arms. Actually it was probably the grease that made it tasty. The little strip center (for lack of a better description) where Joe Willy's is located has become pretty seedy over the years and I was glad it was still daylight when we left ( I was also glad to see that my truck was still where I parked it). Since my choice for a burger is pretty consistant in that I always order a regular burger with one slab of meat and no cheese (that would be a cheeseburger) unlike my fellow warriors (who believe bigger just has to be better), my rankings will usually differ from their's. Here are my rankings todate:

1. Uptown Bar and Grill
2. Campisi's
3. Tipperary Inn
4. Joe Willy's (I was forced by my enjoyment of the Joe Willy's burger to break the tie between Tipperary & Two Rows.)
5. Two Rows
6. Jakes
7. Cheesecake Factory
8. Snuffer's

Quite frankly, I expect the bottom three to continue their journey farther south.

Hooter's anyone????

[BiteMe]

Steve insists that I qualify my rankings by reminding everyone that I wasnt present when the crew suddenly, mysteriously, con****iously, changed plans at the last minute, and went to The Uptown Bar and Grill, insteaad of Adairs. Oh, like I need to be constantly reminded of that? FINE! Swine.

Anyway, here we go:
1.)Tipperary Inn.
2.)Jakes
3.)Joe Willys
4.) Two Rows
5.)Cheesecake Factory
6.)Campisis
7.)Snuffers.

As Steve has mentioned, this long time Mustang hangout makes a very fine burger, and the best thing is you can get it almost exactly the way you want it. Major extra credit points for the buffet style condiments, that offer both red and white onions, 2 kinds of pickles, lettuce, thick cut tomatos, Cream gravy, barbecue sauce, mushroom sauce, A1, and Heinz 57, in addition to the traditional ketchup and Mustard. The possibilities are endless. Trust me folks, despite everything that PK might try to tell you, variety and freedom of choice are good things. If only this burger had a better bun, it could be a serious contender for the top spot. Afraid to tell you, the bun was just grocery store quality.
On the side order front, the Basket of Fries were tasty, and the fried mushrooms were well done, but if you are only going to get one side item make it the the Onion Rings. Serious high quality onion rings here.

This week we were joined in our quest by my good friend, Maddog. Maddog isnt an SMU alum, in fact he isnt an alum of anywhere, because he's not really the collegiate type. He does know a great deal about professional wrestling, though, which makes him a sparkling conversationalist, and he was easily the hit of the evening. I'm trying to get him to join us here on the board, where he can keep us informed on not just wrestling, but all things related to science fiction, comic books, and B-movie trivia.
Ok, I admit it, he's a nerd. But he's one of those On-The-Edge, Sniper-In-The-Belltower, Could-Snap-At-Any-Moment, type nerds, so I try to be nice to him. Anyway, hopefully he'll give us his thoughts on the burger at Joe Willys, because someone needs to substitute for PerunaPunch, who is no longer living up to his obligations as a Burger Judge.

[Maddog]

Belltower, hmm?

First, I wanna thank PX/Biteme for inviting me to the shindig. Maybe he'll let me hang around

Having been my first in these Wars, I have to say Willy Joe's ranks as #1. It also ranks as #10, #22, and #583. The burger was good, even if the meat was just a tad too plain (I dunno why, but I like a little salt & pepper cooked into them).

Have to agree on the onion rings. They are a must. Mushrooms (never a favorite of mine before) are great too.

All in all, a good thing. I enjoyed meeting everyone, and like I said, if BiteMe will let me, I'll be around.

[This message has been edited by Maddog (edited 06-13-2002).]

[whatasteve]

Whatachick and I (and PonyFans.com member "Fish" and his wife) made an encore appearance at Tipperary Inn last night - and it wasn't as good as last time. Still tasty, to be sure, but I'm bumping it down on the official standings.

They are, at the moment:

1. Uptown Bar & Grill
2. Jake's
3. Joe Willy's
4. Tipperary Inn
5. Two Rows
6. Campisi's
7. Cheesecake Factory
8. Snuffers

Perhaps the difference was that we were there in the middle of happy hour on a Friday - so the staff was swamped with orders, and things weren't delivered on a perfect schedule. Whatever the reason, the burger this time was overcooked (a little) and the bacon on top was undercooked. Not that it should be super-crisp, , of course, but bacon you can still see through makes me tense. I was wondering if the only reason it was even warm was because it was sitting on top of that burger.

Tipperary Inn still has the best bun of all the places we've tried. The fries were still average. And the burger was still good - just not quite as good as before.

And PX, your girlfriend still works there and misses you.

[PX]

Sorry Steve, but this revisionist version of the rankings cannot be accepted as valid. Rankings are supposed to be based on the night we all go together, additional after the fact eatings are not involved. What would this thing turn into if I added in all the burger I ate on my own, without you guys? Do you see the Country Bob burger anywhere in my official rankings? Anymore of these illegal attempts to unduly influence the rankings, and I'll be forced to tell you about the Whopper I had yesterday at Burger King.

Todays Dallas Morning News had a Dining section and just for fun I looked up some of the places we've visited.
Two Rows (Brewpubs) ** 1/2 Full bar.
Snuffers (Hamburgers) ** 1/2. no review.
Tipperary Inn (Irish) **** Authentic fare and brews. Excellent Irish bacon burger and braised lamb shank. Breakfast served anytime. Charming atmosphere and friendly service. (The only 4 star place on our list)
Jakes Old Fashioned Burgers (Hamburgers) ** 1/2 reviewed 10/96.
Uptown Bar and Grill (Eclectic) ** 1/2. Reviewed 3/96
Cheesecake Factory (Eclectic) ** Chain with huge menu offers underflavored big servings, and inept service. (lowest rated of the places we've been.)
Joe Willys Market and Grill (Hamburgers) ***
Juicy build your own burgers. Hefty, tasty portions rule. Kid friendly menu, beer and wine available.
Gazeebos, which we had talked about trying also got 3 stars. There were no 4 star burger places, but some 3 star spots we might think about include Burger Zone, Dels Charcoal Burgers, and the Purple Cow.

Campisi's was oddly absent from the rankings. Couldnt find them anywhere.

[PK]

Ninety-nine percent of the people in the city don't even know Campisi's has hamburgers not to mention one hell of a good juicy 16oz steak. When they think of Campisi's, it's all about pizzas, which is OK except they have a lot of other great food...such as the sausage we had for an appetizer. Also noted the dates of some of the rankings you list PX were six years old. DMsnooze must be on a budget cutting move.

BTW, I agree that Whatasteve can not revise his rankings based on individual excursions.

[BiteMe]

Right, but as I said I couldnt find Campisi's anywhere, not under Pizza, or Italian or Egyptian, or New American Casual. Apparently they defy desccription.

So, have we changed this weeks destination to Hooters? I would be fine sticking with the place we originally planned, but am also fine with Hooters. Email and let me know time, date, place, etc.

[Silk]

Have you guys ever made it to Angry Dog? It's in Deep Ellum and they make a great burger. Very much wirth the trip down there.

[whatasteve]

I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with PX, but after checking the Instant Replay and consulting with the sport's governing body, I concur with PX's call - Burger Wars rankings should in fact be based on the opinions generated from group outings only.

For the official rankings, please refer to my next-to-last listing. (And credit PX with a much-deserved assist.)