Burger wars, re-visited

[whatasteve]

The latest installment of Burger Wars included some debate, because we chose a location that is part of a chain: Fuddrucker's.Normally, chains are frowned upon, but the reputation of Fuddrucker's required our in-depth inspection.

Fuddrucker's was about as satisfying an experience as we've had while conducting our highly-scientific research. The place gets extra points not just for the quantity of meat, but for the number of options of burger sizes (1/3 pound, 1/2 pound, 2/3 pound or the full 1 pound.) And, unlike some places we've been before, Fuddrucker's actually serves your burger cooked to the level for which you ask. (Therefore, when PX ordered rare, thinking he'd get medium-rare, they served him something that looked like it had been mooing within the past hour. The thing was as red as the ketchup. Of course, being the trooper that he is, PX still scarfed down the whole thing. Very impressive.)

In addition, the meat is very flavorful - up there with Earl's and Uptown on the flavor scale. Like Joe Willy's, Fuddrucker's gets points (except on PK's list, but he didn't make it) for the fix-your-own condiments bar. And they have more options there than Joe Willy's. A nice new addition is the choice between chopped white onions and chopped red onions. The red are stronger, and add to the whole burger experience. And the buns, unlike some of the other locales in which we've dined, are not cheap, crumbly grocery-store buns. They bake them on-site, and the buns are flavorful and thick enough to absorb any grease (not much) that may leak out of the burger, or any excess condiments that are slathered on top of the burger.

We all know fries do not affect the burger rankings. However, the only fries that come close to those offered at Fuddrucker's are the ones served at First & 10 - and that's ONLY when they're not overcooked (a condition that leaves you gnawing on petrified potato chips, rather than something that resembles an actual French fry.) The fries at Fuddrucker's are thick, tasty and cooked correctly - not raw, but not overly crunchy. A great addition to a great burger.

With all this in mind, the official and legally binding burger rankings are as follows:

1. Uptown Bar & Grill
2. First & 10
3. Fuddrucker's
(3A) Earl's
4. Jake's
5. Joe Willy's
6. Chips
7. Tipperary Inn
8. Two Rows
9. Campisi's
10. Cheesecake Factory
11. Snuffers

P.S. Whatachick and I will be making a pilgrimage one of these days to Snookie's, to complete our lists.

[This message has been edited by whatasteve (edited 08-06-2002).]

[PK]

Excuse me Whatasteve, but exactly when did we go to Earl's???? Unless I'm wrong, only you have been there. It takes a quorum to have sampled the wares before it can be ranked, so please add your caveat to your rankings. Thanks.

[whatasteve]

PK - take a deep breath. That's why it's listed at 3A instead of garnering its own rank in the list. I had lunch there with Peruna Punch last week, and if you read my review of it then, I openly admitted that it was not official - hence the 3A designation. It's listed only as a reminder that it's well worth trying. When you sample their wares, I think you'll agree with me. (Except for the fact that we tend to disagree on all things culinary...) See you then.

[PK]

Just keeping you honest Whatasteve. You have used the ole sub-designations of a. & b. before while trying to keep 1st & 10 in the upper rankings. We'll get to Earl's soon enough and see if we have any similar thoughts on it. I do have some areas of disagreement with you on culinary topics (such as sushi, which I LOVE)....but no big deal.

[PerunaPunch]

The gang headed out to scenic Earl's (east of Central on Walnut Hill) to try their "bigger, better burger". Sadly, it was neither bigger nor better. Not bad mind you, just not in the same class as some of the masterpieces on this list. The bun was some sort of sourdough concoction... very nice. And the beef was top notch. Again, mine was a bit overcooked. Fixzins were fresh. Fries good. Probably worth trying if you haven't been there.

1A. Snookie’s
1B. Uptown Bar & Grill
3. Fudrucker's
4. Joe Willy's
5. Snuffers
6. First & 10
7. Cheesecake Factory
8. Earl's
9. Campisi's
10. Jake's
11. Tipperary Inn
12. Two Rows
13. Chips

[whatasteve]

PerunaPunch, I'm afraid, is wrong. Earl's is an exceptional burger. Not the top of the list, but a very solid performance through and through. I stand by my earlier assessment. The burger was a slight notch below its last showing, but not a big enough notch to change the rankings. The fries were better than last time, but again, this ranking is for the burgers themselves, not the fries, the atmosphere, etc. Our venture to Earl's simply means i can enter Earl's as an official item on our list.

1. Uptown Bar & Grill
2. First & 10
3. Fuddrucker's
4.Earl's
5. Jake's
6. Joe Willy's
7. Chips
8. Tipperary Inn
9. Two Rows
10. Campisi's
11. Cheesecake Factory
12. Snuffers

Too bad we missed PX. Our waitress would have made him forget all about Miss Tipperary.

[PerunaPunch]

Pay no attention folks, it’s just more blinkered, philistine, pig-ignorant burger babble from Whatasteve. As you can see from the Whatarating, young Stevie pretty much agrees with my conclusion... Earl’s makes a good burger, but it’s neither bigger nor better than its peers. Plus, Steve ordered his burger well done and got it that way. I ordered mine medium rare and got well done. So I think it’s fair to say that were the situation reversed, the Earl’s burger would have dropped another notch or two on the Whatalist, putting it solidly in the middle of the pack. In other words, a solid, but but unspectacular performance.

[PK]

Yep, Earl's was adequate...actually it was a bit better than that. They did indeed cook my burger just the way I like it...medium rare and juicy. Unfortunately they gave it to Mrs. Punch and I got her's...cooked very well done and rather dry. We eventually figured out the error and exchanged burgers. She got her's with a few bites missing and I got mine with the ketchup Mrs. Punch added (considering how dry "well done" is, I can understand her putting ketchup on her burgers). All in all the burger was enjoyable, but its ranking is on the upper side of the middle of the pack. I still have not made it to Fuddrucker's so my rankings are not totally up todate.

1. Snookies
2. Uptown Bar and Grill
3. Campisi's
4. Tipperary Inn
5. Joe Willy's
6. Earl's
7. 1st & 10
8. Two Rows
9. Chip's
10. Cheese Factory
11. Snuffer's
12. Jake's

Note: I have re-evaluated my positioning of Jake's. It's certainly OK for a quick lunch, but the single patty version I had was way too deficient in beef to be ranked where I had it ranked earlier.

[PerunaPunch]

I wish PX had made the trip to Earl's so we could ALL dogpile Whatasteve. Oh well...

[PK]

Fear not...whatasteve will get his just rewards soon enough.

[MrMustang1965]

TWO WORDS: BURGER HOUSE! (THE ORIGINAL ON HILLCREST AVE. IN SNIDER PLAZA) 'NUFF SAID!

------------------
"Winning ain't everything...but it's a lot more fun than the alternative!"

[PX]

I havent posted in a few weeks, so I'm going to try to catcch up all at once here. First, Chips.
The Chips burger was tasty, but not particularly large or filling. Sadly, this theme remained constant throughout all their menu items. Everything was undersized and over priced. A decent dinner at Chips will set you back more than a few bucks, and you'll still be hungry afterwards. The only thing on their menu that was worth the price was their strawberry Milkshake, and the shake is the only reason I would ever go back.

The biggest problem the Burger Warlords face in our quest is the evil specter of OverCooking. This foul imp of satan has reared its ugly head more than once, badly disrupting the fine burgers offered at Uptown and First and Ten. There just arent enough chefs out there who understand the difference between Medium Rare, and Medium Well (or even well-done in some places.) So, to buffer myself against overcooking I started ordering my burgers rare, instead of medium rare, in order to insure that what I got would be properly red and juicy within. This worked extremely wel when we revisited the Tipperary Inn, where my burger was perfect, but sadly most of the others got their burgers cooked a step too far, and poor The Lovely Mrs. Punch recieved a solid piece of charcoal on a whole grain bun. The Tipp burger remains at the top of my list, I'm just sorry that Peruna Punch didnt get to sample it in its full glory, properly cooked, tasty and juicy.
This strategy worked very well for me, until we visited Fuddruckers. I ordered rare, and I got a burger that barely had time to shake hands with the grill before it was pulled off and put in the bun. It was raw. not rare, raw. Browned on the surface, but completely raw and even cold inside. Fuddruckers should have scored highly, the variety of sizes they offer and the fix-it-yourself condiment bar should have earned them extra points, but they served me A RAW FRIGGIN BURGER! I had intestinal difficulties for 2 days after eating that thing, so Fuddruckers winds up at the bottom of the list.

1.) Tipperary Inn
2.) Joe Willys
3.) Snookies
4.) Uptown
5.) Jakes
6.) Two Rows
7.) First and Ten
8.) Cheesecake Factory
9.) Campisi's
10.) Chips
11.) Snuffers
12.) Fuddruckers

Alright, now on to more important topics. Tell me more about the Earls waitress, and I'm going to need specific details if you want me to believe she can compare to Daisy The Ultra-Waitress at Tipperary. We may have to make a return trip to Earls, for comparison purposes.

[PK]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by PX:
<B>Alright, now on to more important topics. Tell me more about the Earls waitress, and I'm going to need specific details if you want me to believe she can compare to Daisy The Ultra-Waitress at Tipperary. We may have to make a return trip to Earls, for comparison purposes.</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

She was every bit as friendly as your Tipperary fave Daisy, but considerably cuter (and I thought Daisy was pretty damn good myself). Very nice smile, dark brown shoulder length hair (as I remember) and a very nicely assembled body (good curves in all the right places). When she walked up we all immediately commented that PX was going to be very disappointed he wasn't there. You know the saying PX, all work and no play makes.....

[PX]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by PK:
<B> She was every bit as friendly as your Tipperary fave Daisy, but considerably cuter (and I thought Daisy was pretty damn good myself). Very nice smile, dark brown shoulder length hair (as I remember) and a very nicely assembled body (good curves in all the right places). When she walked up we all immediately commented that PX was going to be very disappointed he wasn't there. You know the saying PX, all work and no play makes.....</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh yeah, my boss has his own version of that saying: "All work and no play makes a publishable manuscript in one of the major journals, preferably Nature or Cell."

[PK]

You need to tell your boss even God took a day off after his creative flurry....all you needed was a couple of hours. Hang in there PX.