Solution to Horse Debate
Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:50 pmDear Prez -
Here is the solution - follow these steps -
1) Get an earful from dozens of reeeeeally happy traditionalist. Tell them Peruna is going nowhere -and you will make an announcement yourself about that later. Help them get into the stadium with their walkers.
2) Get an earful from several dozen clueless 25 year olds from California that think it would be "narly" to have a full size horse big enough to pull a wagon full of beer. Let them know you are working on that and will get right back to you......Do a quick beer bong to show them you are cool.
2) Accept the gift of the horse(s) at half time. Do a 360 degree gladhand of everyone nearby. Tell Ms Pickens how young she is looking these days. Pick up the large check. Have a presidential page rush it to the bank so it clears. Tell the Dodger we appreciate his support and hope to have him call on some recruits for us. Oooh and Aaah over the Navy flyover. Cheer on the win. Tell Dodger we are sorry he had to see Navy get beat but it would be great if he called on this QB we have our eye on. Tell ms Pickens she is lucky she didnt get carded.
3) At half time pulL aside you old buddy Banowsky - the CUSA commissioner. Let him know you are in a Mr Ed jam. Tell him it would be great if the conference had a "new rule" against more then one live mascot on the sidelines during a game. It would be reeeeeeally good if they had that rule - like real soon. wink, wink
4) Call Ms Pickens. Mention she is looking really young these days. Let her we reeeeeeally appreciate the gift - and the opportunity to paticipate in her sooper dooper cause. The horses - Fred and Ethel, will always have a place in the heart of all pony fans - however the conference has this rule that we only get to have one live mascot on the field and since Peruna has been around an itty bitty bit longer we will have Fred and Ethel make cameos before games and somesuch.....and by they way ....we could reeeeeeeally use an indoor practice facility with your name on it. Did I mention I cant tell you apart form our college age co-eds?
5) Tell June we are out of luck on the big horseys. When he starts pouting - tell him you think you can get him on at Augusta.
6) Tell the surfers you cant believe that banosky fella dissed us. Tell them their fraternity can stay on campus one more year as a consolation prize.
7) Tell the old farts (in their good ear) that you had that bad ol horse issue taken care of - and to show some gratitude may be they can fork over some dough for an indoor practice facility.
End of problem.
Here is the solution - follow these steps -
1) Get an earful from dozens of reeeeeally happy traditionalist. Tell them Peruna is going nowhere -and you will make an announcement yourself about that later. Help them get into the stadium with their walkers.
2) Get an earful from several dozen clueless 25 year olds from California that think it would be "narly" to have a full size horse big enough to pull a wagon full of beer. Let them know you are working on that and will get right back to you......Do a quick beer bong to show them you are cool.
2) Accept the gift of the horse(s) at half time. Do a 360 degree gladhand of everyone nearby. Tell Ms Pickens how young she is looking these days. Pick up the large check. Have a presidential page rush it to the bank so it clears. Tell the Dodger we appreciate his support and hope to have him call on some recruits for us. Oooh and Aaah over the Navy flyover. Cheer on the win. Tell Dodger we are sorry he had to see Navy get beat but it would be great if he called on this QB we have our eye on. Tell ms Pickens she is lucky she didnt get carded.
3) At half time pulL aside you old buddy Banowsky - the CUSA commissioner. Let him know you are in a Mr Ed jam. Tell him it would be great if the conference had a "new rule" against more then one live mascot on the sidelines during a game. It would be reeeeeeally good if they had that rule - like real soon. wink, wink
4) Call Ms Pickens. Mention she is looking really young these days. Let her we reeeeeeally appreciate the gift - and the opportunity to paticipate in her sooper dooper cause. The horses - Fred and Ethel, will always have a place in the heart of all pony fans - however the conference has this rule that we only get to have one live mascot on the field and since Peruna has been around an itty bitty bit longer we will have Fred and Ethel make cameos before games and somesuch.....and by they way ....we could reeeeeeeally use an indoor practice facility with your name on it. Did I mention I cant tell you apart form our college age co-eds?
5) Tell June we are out of luck on the big horseys. When he starts pouting - tell him you think you can get him on at Augusta.
6) Tell the surfers you cant believe that banosky fella dissed us. Tell them their fraternity can stay on campus one more year as a consolation prize.
7) Tell the old farts (in their good ear) that you had that bad ol horse issue taken care of - and to show some gratitude may be they can fork over some dough for an indoor practice facility.
End of problem.
