ESPN - New Rules: 23 steps to gridiron sanity

by **ThadFilms** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 2:40 am

Very funny article on espn.com -

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/ ... id=2544246

Many of which are words to live by.... one of my favorite of Pat Forde's "new rules":

Pat Forde ESPN.com wrote:New Rule: Nobody else thinks his or her team gets enough respect from the media, either. You're encouraged to come up with a new complaint.

Enjoy! ... Football season can't get here soon enough.

-Thaddeus

by **giacfsp** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:14 am

That list is great. He missed the boat on a couple:

New Rule: If you know the tailgate lot at the stadium like the back of your hand but wouldn't be able to find the campus library without joining a tour group, reevaluate your priorities.

KNOWING THE DETAILS OF THE BOULEVARD FOR PROPER TAILGATING IS VITAL. FORDE IS OFF HIS ROCKER....

New Rule: If you know the name of the long snapper but don't know the name of the school president, reevaluate your priorities.

LIKE HELL -- I CAN NAME TWO: JACKSON TAYLOR AND SAM BENNETT. WHEN EL PRESIDENTE SUITS UP (in a uniform, not a suit), I'LL LEARN HIS NAME, TOO.[/b]

by **Mustangs35SMU** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 12:29 pm

Too funny.

New Rule: It's August. Refrain from posting on your team's message boards that your coach needs to go. At least let him fall behind by a touchdown in September -- or if you really want to be patient, let him even lose an entire game -- before demanding regime change.

Love that one.

New Rule: Flying a car flag when your team is 5-0 is easy. Try it when your team is 0-5.

Been there...done that.

by **CalallenStang** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 12:32 pm

New Rule: If you're over the age of, say, 14, beseeching players as they leave the field for a receiving glove is unseemly and best avoided. I mean, who other than Michael Jackson is going to get excited about a single glove?

O.J. Simpson

New Rule: Flying a car flag when your team is 5-0 is easy. Try it when your team is 0-5.

We know that all too well

by **MrMustang1965** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 1:18 pm

Even better: fly your school's flag outside your house when its record is 0-5 and the rest of your neighbors are flying the flag of the national champion U.T. Longhorns...and they didn't even go to school there!

by **jtstang** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 1:43 pm

MrMustang1965 wrote:Even better: fly your school's flag outside your house when its record is 0-5 and the rest of your neighbors are flying the flag of the national champion U.T. Longhorns...and they didn't even go to school there!

I assume you are talking about flying your d-2 bearkitties flag?

by **MrMustang1965** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 1:49 pm

jtstang wrote:
MrMustang1965 wrote:Even better: fly your school's flag outside your house when its record is 0-5 and the rest of your neighbors are flying the flag of the national champion U.T. Longhorns...and they didn't even go to school there!

I assume you are talking about flying your d-2 bearkitties flag?

No. I'm talking about flying my SMU Mustangs flag. This is the SMU board.

by **jtstang** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 2:20 pm

MrMustang1965 wrote:
jtstang wrote:
MrMustang1965 wrote:Even better: fly your school's flag outside your house when its record is 0-5 and the rest of your neighbors are flying the flag of the national champion U.T. Longhorns...and they didn't even go to school there!

I assume you are talking about flying your d-2 bearkitties flag?
No. I'm talking about flying my SMU Mustangs flag. This is the SMU board.

Then why would you razz somebody about flying the flag of a school they did not even go to?

by **MrMustang1965** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 2:23 pm

jtstang wrote:
MrMustang1965 wrote:
jtstang wrote:
MrMustang1965 wrote:Even better: fly your school's flag outside your house when its record is 0-5 and the rest of your neighbors are flying the flag of the national champion U.T. Longhorns...and they didn't even go to school there!

I assume you are talking about flying your d-2 bearkitties flag?
No. I'm talking about flying my SMU Mustangs flag. This is the SMU board.

Then why would you razz somebody about flying the flag of a school they did not even go to?

In case you forgot, my wife - who is just as much of an SMU fan as anybody! - went to S.M.U.

It's like you flying a U.T. flag outside your house. Didn't your wife go to school in Austin?

by **SMU Football Blog** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 2:38 pm

MrMustang1965 wrote:
jtstang wrote:
MrMustang1965 wrote:
jtstang wrote:
MrMustang1965 wrote:Even better: fly your school's flag outside your house when its record is 0-5 and the rest of your neighbors are flying the flag of the national champion U.T. Longhorns...and they didn't even go to school there!

I assume you are talking about flying your d-2 bearkitties flag?
No. I'm talking about flying my SMU Mustangs flag. This is the SMU board.

Then why would you razz somebody about flying the flag of a school they did not even go to?
In case you forgot, my wife - who is just as much of an SMU fan as anybody! - went to S.M.U.

It's like you flying a U.T. flag outside your house. Didn't your wife go to school in Austin?

JT's got scene control.

by **jtstang** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:03 pm

SMU Football Blog wrote:JT's got scene control.

Damn straight. I hid that Texas Ex window sticker as soon as she opened it.

by **MrMustang1965** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:08 pm

jtstang wrote:
SMU Football Blog wrote:JT's got scene control.

Damn straight. I hid that Texas Ex window sticker as soon as she opened it.

...just one more thing I don't have to worry about with my wonderful wife!

by **jtstang** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:27 pm

MrMustang1965 wrote:
jtstang wrote:
SMU Football Blog wrote:JT's got scene control.

Damn straight. I hid that Texas Ex window sticker as soon as she opened it.
...just one more thing I don't have to worry about with my wonderful wife!

Yeah, but you probably have to worry about putting SMU stickers all over everything. My cars shall remain stickerless. Except for my Jeep, which does have a "Horsepower" bumper sticker circa 1990 or so, and will likely be christened with an original "MustangMania" bumper sticker for this year.

by **MrMustang1965** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 5:32 pm

jtstang wrote:
MrMustang1965 wrote:
jtstang wrote:
SMU Football Blog wrote:JT's got scene control.

Damn straight. I hid that Texas Ex window sticker as soon as she opened it.
...just one more thing I don't have to worry about with my wonderful wife!

Yeah, but you probably have to worry about putting SMU stickers all over everything. My cars shall remain stickerless. Except for my Jeep, which does have a "Horsepower" bumper sticker circa 1990 or so, and will likely be christened with an original "MustangMania" bumper sticker for this year.

Actually, there's only ONE SMU sticker on her Suburban. I have my Mustang Club sticker on my car along with the infamous license plates!

by **RGV Pony** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:04 pm

Which brings up a good point. My wife contends that a Mustang Club sticker on the back of my H3 makes it look "white trashy." Her point is the SMU license plate is enough....alas, no Mustang Club sticker.

Oh, and after seeing all the damn maroon suburbans on the drive from Houston to College Station, I had no choice but to choose blue, so it would coordinate well with the red mustang.

You wouldn't believe how many TCU bumper stickers/magnets you see down here. Ugh.

What was the topic of this thread again?

ESPN - New Rules: 23 steps to gridiron sanity

ESPN - New Rules: 23 steps to gridiron sanity

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