College Football: North vs. South Showdown

[SMUtrojanFAN]

I don't know if anybody has seen this before, but a friend forwarded it. Pretty funny - SMU really seems to reflects both sides in the end:


Southern Football VS. Northern Football

Women's Accessories:
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in
the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks,
waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Captain
Morgan/Crown. Money is not necessary -
that's what dates are for.

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20, 000
people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20, 000
people.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Cheerleaders:
NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make
the varsity squad.
SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete
with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the
ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the
ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting
list.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're
going to the game, because they have classes on
Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because
they don't want to see the few hung-over students
that might actually make it to class.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University
opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin
arriving on Wednesday for the weekend
festivities. The really faithful arrive on
Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch
ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for
breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is
broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and
wave to the idiots up north.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it,
listening to local radio station with truck
tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up
at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance
by "Dave Matthews' Band, " who comes over during
breaks and asks for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you
find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On
game day it becomes the state's third largest
city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to
the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the
home team's mascot on it, filled less than
halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for
Captain Morgan/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less
than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100, 000 fans, all standing, sing along in
perfect four-part harmony.

The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Captain
Morgan/Crown.

Commentators:
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sonabitch - tackle him and
break his legs!"

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sonabitch - tackle him and
break his legs!"

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the
fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is
so proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game
ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker.
While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon; planning begins for next week's game.

[LonghornFan68]

Not bad, not great.

[EastStang]

In the north the tailgate barbecues seem to be more of the sausage variety. I remember at Penn State it was bratwurst city and beer.

[PonyPride]

Maybe there IS something worthwhile about Penn State after all. I hate that place, but it's hard to argue with a good brat and a beer.

And.....................
"SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city."

That's true at the University of Nebraska (makes you wonder if the school is really southern, but somehow got lost). Memorial Stadium has the third-highest population in the state during home games, after Omaha and (the rest of) Lincoln.

[SMUtrojanFAN]

BEAT NEBRASKA!!

BEAT SAM HOUSTON!!

that is all...

[MrMustang1965]

BEAT NEBRASKA!!

BEAT SAM HOUSTON!!

that is all...

Did you ever think you'd see those two schools mentioned in the same post? It's a sign of the Apocolypse!

[SMUtrojanFAN]

sorry, I've got dual loyalties.

Now, SMU and USC? Not so far off...

Sam Houston St. and Nebraska's first two opponents? Not so far off either...

[PlanoStang]

I don't know if anybody has seen this before, but a friend forwarded it. Pretty funny - SMU really seems to reflects both sides in the end:


Southern Football VS. Northern Football

Women's Accessories:
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in
the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks,
waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Captain
Morgan/Crown. Money is not necessary -
that's what dates are for.

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20, 000
people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20, 000
people.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Cheerleaders:
NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make
the varsity squad.
SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete
with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the
ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the
ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting
list.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're
going to the game, because they have classes on
Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because
they don't want to see the few hung-over students
that might actually make it to class.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University
opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin
arriving on Wednesday for the weekend
festivities. The really faithful arrive on
Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch
ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for
breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is
broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and
wave to the idiots up north.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it,
listening to local radio station with truck
tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up
at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance
by "Dave Matthews' Band, " who comes over during
breaks and asks for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you
find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On
game day it becomes the state's third largest
city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to
the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the
home team's mascot on it, filled less than
halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for
Captain Morgan/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less
than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100, 000 fans, all standing, sing along in
perfect four-part harmony.

The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Captain
Morgan/Crown.

Commentators:
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sonabitch - tackle him and
break his legs!"

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sonabitch - tackle him and
break his legs!"

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the
fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is
so proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game
ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker.
While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon; planning begins for next week's game.

Sounds like a pile of BCS to me.

[Water Pony]

North: Real FB weather

South: Hot and humid

[CalallenStang]

North: Real FB weather

South: Hot and humid

Quite true.

[that's great raplh]

Women's Accessories:
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in
the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks,
waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Captain
Morgan/Crown. Money is not necessary -
that's what dates are for.

i married a yankee

[michiganstang]

Pretty Funny except this...

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20, 000
people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20, 000
people.

...is quite a stretch considering that 3 of the 4 biggest stadiums are in the north. Would have been better to compare high school stadiums...I've seen some huge/impressive ones in the south, as the joke suggests, but the vast majority of northern ones where I grew up are smallish and/or kinda crappy. (Guess they are putting the tax money into the schools).

[JesuitPony]

In recent years I've been to Ohio State, Florida, Florida State and South Carolina for games. I think OSU has the nicest stadium, although the Swamp was very cool. Florida Field was as loud a stadium as I have ever been in.

The North may have some big stadiums (nod to the Big House), but there is no question about which part of the country has the prettier co-eds. I think black strapless dresses are the required attire for South Carolina co-eds.

[PonyPride]

.... considering that 3 of the 4 biggest stadiums are in the north....

THREE? I know Michigan and Penn State and Ohio State are huge (I'm assuming those are the three to which you're referring -- I haven't looked it up), but are they all bigger than Tennessee and/or Texas? I thought Tennessee, Michigan, Penn State and Texas were the top four. Not true?

[SMUballboy]

Michigan is the Biggest (largest crowd they've ever had was 121K although capacity is listed at 109K 110K i believe

Neyland (Rocky Top) is a close second then i think its followed by Happy Valley then the horse shoe.

They may have the biggest stadiums but sotherners are drunker and louder come game time