Funny UT Jokes

[me@smu]

These are just funny.

1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin? A huddle.

2. Four UT Longhorns in a car, who's driving? The police.

3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new "Honor System". Yes your
Honor, No your Honor.

4. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their
defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: F. Lee Bailey.

5. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall
practice? Studying their Miranda Rights.

6. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit? Will the defendant
please rise?

7. If you see Longhorn football player on a bike, why don't you
swerve to hit him? It might be your bike!

8. The Longhorns employ scouts. But to look out for cops, not to
scout high school kids.

9. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections
plans to build a new prison in Austin, Texas in order to allow Longhorns to walk to school.

10. What do you call it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation? Time
off for good behavior.

11. Why couldn't the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football
field? It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.

12. Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if
they have to resort to robbing people.

[LonghornFan68]

Knee slappers. All of them.

[jtstang]

Pretty funny stuff, but you get an incomplete for copying others' material.

[LonghornFan68]

Pretty funny stuff, but you get an incomplete for copying others' material.

When I was in school, that would get me suspended. Methinks the mods need to step in here.

[jtstang]

When I was in school, that would get me suspended. Methinks the mods need to step in here.

Suspended, at UT? Clearly you were not a football player.


A+.

[LonghornFan68]

When I was in school, that would get me suspended. Methinks the mods need to step in here.

Suspended, at UT? Clearly you were not a football player.


A+.

I should have said grade school. I fail.

[EastStang]

At SMU you might have gotten a D for plagerizing without attribution of your source.

And this oldie but goodie. What you call a man with 3000 UT grads around him? Warden. Badabing, badaboom.

[DallasDiehard]

At SMU you might have gotten a D for plagerizing without attribution of your source.

Plagiarism and D (magazine) in the same sentence? Never!

[LonghornFan68]

Folks, it's plagiarism.

Now make a UT education joke.

[DallasDiehard]

Kudos. I was mocking D mag, not UT.
(Corrected)

[2112]

ya just knew steer and jtsteer are not gonna like those.

[MrMustang1965]

Why will UT employ a 'no huddle' offense this year?

Because ankle bracelet monitors won't work if they're that close together.

Why does the UT football team wear orange?

So that the players don't have to change out of their Travis County jail uniforms.

[ponyte]

These are in the public domain so plagiarism isn't an issue.

[jtstang]

ya just knew steer and jtsteer are not gonna like those.

Not only did I say they were funny, I made one that was funnier. Your reading comprehension level suggests perhaps an NTSU degree. Are you a poser?

[2112]

my bad on that one, but if ya step in dog shi- once, the next time ya usually go around.