New coach found

[SMWho?]

Fulfilling their pledge to "leave no stone unturned" in their search for a new head football coach, Southern Methodist University officials today exhumed the body of late Notre Dame great George Gipp. Gipp's femur bone was removed from the remains and immediately declared SMU's new gridiron leader.

"This will, literally, give us a 'leg up' on the competition," Director of Athletics Steve Orisini said. "We believe the breaks have been beating our boys and they will surely go out there and win one for the Gipper".

Asked if the femur bone could actually make tough football decisions, like whether to go for it on 4-and-one at the opponents' 50, Orsini said, "Couldn't do any worse than we've been doing, and, yes, I believe Coach Bone has the marrow to make that kind of call."

Orsini added, "Hey. This make us unique. This puts SMU on the map. Anyone could have a Head Football Coach. But not everyone has a Dead one."

Reached for comment, the femur bone said nothing.

"Not to worry," averred Orisini, "He's a little dusty, but will do just fine."

[jtstang]

Kinda funny. C+.

[TheRealTruth]

Would take a corpse over 95% of the names mentioned by some of these f-ing losers on this site.

[SmooBoy]

If you are going to put that much effort into TRYING to amuse the masses, please learn how to spell the AD's name. That tcu edumacation again.

[SMWho?]

Believe me. There was no effort. And you're right. Orsini only has two eyes.
I put another "i" in the back of his head for obvious reasons.

[Diamond Girl]

I was hoping it was going to be the bones of Woody Hayes, not the Gipper.

[SMU2007]

the amount of effort losers from other schools put into making "trash talking" posts never ceases to amaze me. wow. get a life bud.

[OR-See-Nee]

the amount of effort losers from other schools put into making "trash talking" posts never ceases to amaze me. wow. get a life bud.

True, true.

[PonySoprano]

I was hoping it was going to be the bones of Woody Hayes, not the Gipper.

I'm right there with ya...

[Peruna_Ate_My_Rolex]

Isn't Bo Schembeckler still relatively fresh, so to speak? Maybe we could reanimate him and then get Bo Biafra and the Dead Schembecklers to perform at Pigskin next year.

[EastStang]

I heard Gary Patterson is leaving TCU for UNLV. Just a rumor mind you!

[Peruna_Ate_My_Rolex]

I heard Gary Patterson is leaving TCU for UNLV. Just a rumor mind you!

He'd be all over those Casino Buffets.

[EastStang]

Mangino, Weis and Friegen are still way ahead of him.

[SMUer]

Fulfilling their pledge to "leave no stone unturned" in their search for a new head football coach, Southern Methodist University officials today exhumed the body of late Notre Dame great George Gipp. Gipp's femur bone was removed from the remains and immediately declared SMU's new gridiron leader.

"This will, literally, give us a 'leg up' on the competition," Director of Athletics Steve Orisini said. "We believe the breaks have been beating our boys and they will surely go out there and win one for the Gipper".

Asked if the femur bone could actually make tough football decisions, like whether to go for it on 4-and-one at the opponents' 50, Orsini said, "Couldn't do any worse than we've been doing, and, yes, I believe Coach Bone has the marrow to make that kind of call."

Orsini added, "Hey. This make us unique. This puts SMU on the map. Anyone could have a Head Football Coach. But not everyone has a Dead one."

Reached for comment, the femur bone said nothing.

"Not to worry," averred Orisini, "He's a little dusty, but will do just fine."

A+. You should work for The Onion.

[George S. Patton]

Isn't Bo Schembeckler still relatively fresh, so to speak? Maybe we could reanimate him and then get Bo Biafra and the Dead Schembecklers to perform at Pigskin next year.

I thought I read in the Forde-yard-dash this week that the Dead Schembechlers broke up right after the 2006 Michigan-Ohio State and that several of their members aren't doing so well.