ITS NOT PJ

ponyinNC · Post by **ponyinNC** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:26 pm

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

ponyinNC · Post by **ponyinNC** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:26 pm

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Arkpony · Post by **Arkpony** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:27 pm

China Built the Great Wall to keep Chuck Norris out.....it Failed!

Insane_Pony_Posse · Post by **Insane_Pony_Posse** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:29 pm

re: "I hung out with Chuck Norris. Real nice guy. Real short, too."

does that guy wear a rug?

ponyinNC · Post by **ponyinNC** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:29 pm

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

ponyinNC · Post by **ponyinNC** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:30 pm

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

ponyinNC · Post by **ponyinNC** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:31 pm

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

ponyinNC · Post by **ponyinNC** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:33 pm

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

veerbone · Post by **veerbone** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:35 pm

Chuck Norris can divide by zero, and has counted to infinity....twice.

SMU Football Blog · Post by **SMU Football Blog** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:35 pm

Insane_Pony_Posse wrote:re: "I hung out with Chuck Norris. Real nice guy. Real short, too."

does that guy wear a rug?

Oddly, as a bald guy, I am not that good at spotting that. It was also 11 years ago. OMG, I am old

veerbone · Post by **veerbone** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:40 pm

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

veerbone · Post by **veerbone** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:42 pm

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

ponyinNC · Post by **ponyinNC** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:44 pm

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris · Post by **Chuck Norris** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:45 pm

veerbone wrote:Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Mr. T's body parts destroyed the bar

veerbone · Post by **veerbone** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:50 pm

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.