Dallas, TX (AP) - In a settlement with local businesses across the metroplex, SMU athletic director Steve Orsini has agreed to fill positions left wide open in the past few days by employee negligence.
Employers across the metroplex rallied together in a class-action motion against the AD, complaining their employees were spending as many as 14 hours per day on local website "ponyfans.com," as well as tracking tiny green planes on a map.
The motion also cited numerous employees wandering around offices in a delerious, zomblie-like state, mumbling under their breath phrases such as "big johnson," "hire someone," and "let me sleep" ...developing.