Holy crap! Halloween was full of tricks wasn't it? I feel like Rod Serling in this Twighlight Zone of loserdom. Both North Texas and Syracuse won! I'm still in shock over that. I was expecting it to start raining frogs, water turning to blood, and for boils to start appearing on my family. I went out and got some lamb blood just in case and put it over the door like the bible says to. The wife is pretty uspest about it....but I'm not taking any chances. This could be the beginning of the end with both Syracuse and North Texas winning on the same day. No good can come of this, I tell you.
So again, we begin our weekly look at the most putrid teams in college football. There's a bit of shuffling at the top and we have our first ever tie for the #10 spot in the countdown. Trying to figure these losers out is harder than a priest during choir practice. But, the Greek managed to get it all figured out once again. So, pour yourself a glass of scaramental wine, polish up your "Our Fathers" and your "Hail Mary's", and enjoy The Best Damn Poll In The Land's Not So Top 10 for Week 10.
Washington St. Cougars logo1. Washington State (1-8) LW #2- We have a new #1 folks. The Cougars are terrible. Stanford hammered them 58-0. They have been out scored 127-0 in the last 2 games and 193-13 in their last 3. No offense to Stanford for this upcoming stereotype, but all I can picture is Coach Paul Wulff yelling at his team like the coach from the movie Revenge of the Nerds...." You all just got your @#$'s whipped by a bunch of nerds......NERDS!!!! This is just disgraceful. The reason why the Cougars are #1 with a win and the Huskies are #2 without one you ask? How about the schedule. The only reason Washington State has a win.....Portland State. The reason Washington State will stay #1 next week.....Arizona.
Washington Huskies logo2. Washington (0-8) LW #3- Besides the Huskies rethinking their OOC schedules, they can take solice in the fact that they don't suck as bad as the Cougars do.....yet. I'm sure the AD is burning up Portland State's telephone lines for next season. I'm pretty sure there's only 1 game left that really matter to these mangy Huskies....it's Wazzou for sure. We will consider it our Not So Top 10 championship game. First things first though, no need to jump the gun, the Huskies need to go out there and flounder around Arizona State this week to keep the dream alive. Can the Huskies get the elusive perfect season? One thing makes me wonder, why haven't they euthanized these Huskies yet? Can we get PETA on the phone. I haven't seen dog abuse like this since Michael Vick.
San Diego St. Aztecs logo3. San Diego State (1-8) LW #5- The Aztecs got roughed up by Wyoming....mighty Wyoming. I have given head coach Chuck Long a new nick name. Chuck "Not For" Long. It fits, because that's about how long he's going to be around come the end of November. But I can't see them overtaking Washington or Washington State for the #1 spot. Sure, they suck, but who knew that beating Idaho would carry such a penalty. But the Aztecs will keep pace for sure this week, as they travel to Provo to taken on those maniacal mormons of BYU. Any bets that BYU hangs 70 on them? Let me know if you want to take me up on that.
North Texas Mean Green logo4. North Texas (1-8) LW #1- I'm speechless. You know that tense and awkward moment when you flatulate in a crowded elevator, a silent but deadly face-hugger, and you are waiting for the first person to notice it and then make eye contact with you? That's how I feel right now about the Mean Ganja-Green's first win of the season. Oh, that's right North Texas, you didn't think just because you won a game that the Greek was going to forget about your little drug issue, did you? You won, which spared you the line ....Well, we know they weren't performance enhancing drugs they were doing at North Texas. You ruined that one for me. You also ruined your shot at a perfect season. Next up for the Mean Ganja-Green....FAU on the road. I think it's too late for you though, you may be out of the title shot.
SMU Mustangs logo5. Southern Methodist (1-8) LW #6- Moving up during their bye week are the Mustangs. This is a team that was beaten without having a forward pass thrown on them. Hilarious and pitiful all in the same breath. They gave up 404 yards on the ground to boot. I am aware June Jones is known for his offense, but could someone let him know there this new thing called defense that's all the rage. All the teams are doing it......well except Washington and Washington State. You don't want to be left behind, do you coach? Another reason why SMU is here, that offensive guru Jones managed 144 net yards against Navy. Somebody get these Mustangs to the glue factory before they start stinking up the joint. Next up, the Mustangs host the Memphis Tigers.....the vultures are circling already.
Syracuse Orange logo6. Syracuse (2-6) LW #4- Syracuse won....and I just vomited a little in my mouth having typed that. I am shocked. The OrangeyouasstunnedasIamthattheywonagame's pulled off the upset of Louisville.....the same Louisville that beat a ranked South Florida team last week. This was only Syracuse's 3rd conference victory in 4 years, two of those coming against Louisville. I hear that Syracuse AD Gross is thinking this win could be enough to save his buddy Robinson's job.I wonder how the fan base would react if Robinson is retained? I also feel that this win may have all but eliminated Syracuse from title contention. Well, there's always next year. Next up, the OrangeyoureadyforRobinsontobefired's travel to Rutgers.
Idaho Vandals logo7. Idaho (2-8) LW #7- Staying put at #7 are the Vandals. They put up a tough fight against San Jose State, only losing by 6, 30-24. So their reward is they don't lose any ground in the poll. But they need to be careful. If they keep screwing around they may just win another game, and then they'll blow their chance at the title. It might be out of reach anyway. But I have faith in the Vandals and I'm banking on them sucking their way back into the top 5, and maybe even contending for a shot at the title. The Vandals get the week off to contemplate the beating they are about to receive next week when they host in state bully Boise State. Where is that game being played? The Kibbie Dome seats 16,000. Is that right? Could someone let me know. There's no way this game can be played there. There will be more Boise State fans there anyway. What's the spread? Man, I have to watch this game....it's like a sickness I tell you.
Michigan Wolverines logo8. Michigan (2-7) LW #8- Okay, I'm going to take it easy on Michigan this week. A tough loss to Purdue, so the Wolverines stay put this week. It's bad enough that their 33 consecutive winning seasons is coming to an end. Not to mention their record bowl streak as well. What has Rich Rodriguez done to this once proud football program. I bet you John Cooper and Llyodd Carr are having a brewski together and having a good laugh at both tOSU and Michigan this year. But Michigan has a tough road ahead, and I fear they may be moving up the poll next week. The Wolverines travel to play Minnesota....and I have a feeling that Minnesota is going to take full advantage of Michigan's current state and pound them unmercifully. You might want to wash that Little Brown jug out, Golden Gophers, before you drink out of it. Gauging from their performance lately, Michigan has been drinking "Loser Juice" from it.
Tennessee Volunteers logo9. Tennessee (3-6) LW #10- I tried. I gave you the #10 spot to help with Alabama....but it was to no avail. The Vols were about as responsive as the dude passed out and over-dosed on Isiah Thomas' kitchen floor. This team has no pulse. Fulmer is all but fired. I tell you, the great Vols fans deserve better than what they are getting. What happened to the running game? What happened to the defense? How did things get this bad at Tennessee? Now, they have a chance to leave the Not So Top 10 with Wyoming coming to Knoxville and then a bye week. But I have a feeling they could return with games at Kentucky and then against Vanderbilt to end the season. What is really sad.....winning the last 3 games will only make them 6-6..
W. Kentucky Hilltoppers logo10. A) Western Kentucky (2-7) LW NR- The HillFloppers get the "Shame of the Week" award for losing to the previous winless North Texas Mean Ganja-Green. But before I get any farther....what the hell is their logo? Look at this thing. They should change that rag to the white flag of surrender after losing to North Texas. Is that a feminine napkin they are waving there? And I thought Stanford's mascot was lame....geez. The reason the HillFloppers get the #10 spot is I want them to get the mojo, beat Troy, so I don't have to look at that wavering maxi-pad for the rest of the season. Lord, that is bad.
UAB Blazers logo10. B) Alabama Birmingham (2-7) LW NR- These guys flip flop more than a Presidential candidate. The Smoking Jackets jump back in the countdown again after getting pole-axed by Southern Miss 70-14. They have a bye week before the take a trip to NOLA to play Tulane. I'm giving the mojo to them because the Smoking Jackets have a bit of my admiration. They contiue to be quasi-competitive while having the fewest scholarship players of all there peers. I don't think a 2-10 season will help much in filling those scholarships with good players, so the Greek is doing his part to help out.
Leaving so soon: Utah State
Under Investigation: Ohio, Auburn, the masking agent North Texas players were using, Kent State, Mississippi State, Baylor, Hawaii, Iowa State, Georgia's dance instructor, Temple, Neighbors who don't participate in Halloween but leave their damn porch lights on, Tulane, Indiana, Kansas State, Election day voting lines, Weddings on Saturdays in the fall, Indiana,UCF,and FAU.
