SMU at USM. Let the nightmare begin! PANIC!

Mitch McConnell · Post by **Mitch McConnell** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:05 pm

Overwhelmed by the meaning of the presumed Big East invitation? Is it enough to make you pass out when you hear SMU and AQ in the same sentence? Will this program become drunk with euphoria and then proceed to get its head handed to it by Southern Miss.? Fear not. Put all of that anxiety aside, curl into that midweek fetal position and come to the safety of the thread where anything is possible. While others have tried and failed, this one sets the bar. After a two-month layoff -- and back by "popular?" demand -- we proudly present the debut of the 2011 panic thread.

So let's get it started:

1. I saw Cole Beasley walk off the field holding his leg in his hands on Saturday. WTH! Yeah, well I saw Darius Johnson walking off the field holding both legs in his hands. Can we ever keep anybody healthy on this team?

2. Who am I cheering for SMU? USM? I hate it when these initials are so close..Right but one team is red and blue and the other is black and gold...Well, that doesn't matter, I'm confused. Rats!

3. We should have never been associated with the Big East talks. Now, that Mississippi team is going to be mad as fire at us because they weren't included and they'll blame us. We will regret this.

4. I noticed that Southern Miss is down to their fourth string RB. Well, he's actually better than their starter. That was complete politics and Larry Fedora really knew that this guy was going to be the best one. Shame on us for not knowing that ahead of time....right but the starter got hurt...And your point is?

5. Here's why we'll lose. Southern Miss beat Virginia which beat Georgia Tech which beat North Carolina which beat Rutgers which beat Pittsburgh which beat South Florida which beat UTEP, a team SMU barely beat. It's just that simple.

6. Austin Davis is the best quarterback in the history of Southern Miss. Better than Brett Favre? Yes, better than Favre. What did that guy ever do? This Davis guy is the deal. He's thrown for a billion yards and 9,000 TDs. And we don't intercept the ball. He will kill our secondary. But our secondary is pretty good on coverage. You're not even watching the same team, pal.

7. I heard that if Southern Miss doesn't sell out its game against us, that BB recruit Blaise won't commit to us. That's the rumor.

8. Why does Steve Orsini keep leaving his phone in his car in these uncertain conference realignment times? What a knucklehead.

9. I'm starting to think that the former marketing hack, who has become board pollution on this site, has put a hex on the program and created so much negative energy that no one will show up for any more home games -- regardless of how this season turns out.

10. I really don't trust a PK when his last name sounds like a vacuum cleaner.

11. What will it mean if June Jones doesn't wear a lei on the road? Well, he didn't wear one at Memphis and TCU and we won, right? Yeah, but Memphis doesn't count and TCU was different.

12. What if Margus gets deported? And if that happens would his NCAA block records be nullified?

13. Peruna IX is too tall!

14. When are we ever going to devote half of the university's endowment to the Adrian Klemm salary? We're just asking to lose this guy.

15. Larry Fedora just took a call from Gary Patterson:
Larry: This is Larry
Gary (scratchy and uncomfortable voice): Hey, Larry, Gary Patterson here.
Larry: Yeah, what I can do for you.
Gary: Well, since I have this exhibition game against New Mexico coming up and I really don't give a [my name] about the season because we're going to the Big 12 baby...woohoohoo...woohooo....Big12...woohoo....
Larry: Was there something you needed?
Gary: Oh yeah. Well, anyway. Your league officials suck. As soon as our game ends -- heck, I can be leave by halftime and no one will notice -- I can fly down there, wear black on the sidelines -- you see we wear black, it doesn't work with with purple, but we still wear it -- I can stand down on the sidelines and mark down their names...S, F, B, U, R...and then tell you never to invite them back to your stadium again because they suck...
Larry: Ya know, Gary. That's really nice of you, but I think I got this one.
Gary: No seriously! I can do this. No problem.
Larry: Isn't there an anger management class you need to get to? (click).
Gary: Damn. I was going to tell him he could pay me back by buying me a vat of etouffee. Guess I have to do it myself. I'm not paid enough by TCU.

Have a great day!

ericdickerson4life · Post by **ericdickerson4life** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:06 pm

YAY, He's Back!

GiddyUp · Post by **GiddyUp** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:27 pm

Uh oh - he's back

SMU 86 · Post by **SMU 86** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:34 pm

If we lose this game, please no more panic threads. But other than that glad to see you back.

jtstang · Post by **jtstang** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:34 pm

Southern Meth. v. Southern Miss.

I predict SMU over SMU.

NickSMU17 · Post by **NickSMU17** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:45 pm

we are 5-1 and invited to an AQ conference and you come back to ruin it...

nice work.

redpony · Post by **redpony** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:48 pm

Mitch- glad you're back. Guess the lobbyists in DC ran out of money- huh?

GO PONIES!!!

2ndandlong · Post by **2ndandlong** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:51 pm

Welcome back. Now I feel that I can OFFICIALLY panic.

smustatesmen · Post by **smustatesmen** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:15 pm

Lets see. Otter hasn't posted on the site recently, and now Mitch is back. Very Interesting.

PonyPlayer4 · Post by **PonyPlayer4** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:26 pm

jtstang wrote:Southern Meth. v. Southern Miss.

I predict SMU over SMU.

Southern Meth just doesn't sound right.

ponyscott · Post by **ponyscott** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:45 pm

He's BAAAAAAAAACK.........he just loves to push buttons here and get a rise out of certain people.

PonyPlayer4 · Post by **PonyPlayer4** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:58 pm

PS Minnesota still sucks.

smupony94 · Post by **smupony94** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:02 pm

Big 10 sucks

mrydel · Post by **mrydel** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:12 pm

smupony94 wrote:Big 10 sucks

And so do their stupid bands.

Mitch McConnell · Post by **Mitch McConnell** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:35 pm

PonyPlayer4 wrote:PS Minnesota still sucks.

No argument here. Nightmare season.