Burger wars, re-visited

[MrMustang1965]

Ditto on Gazeebo's! BornRed&Blue and I have eaten there together and I give it a 'thumbs up', too! And they have TV screens ALWAYS tuned to ESPN.

------------------
"Winning ain't everything...but it's a lot more fun than the alternative!" S.M.U. SPIRIT: IT STARTS NOW!

[Nacho]

Found this on chowhound.com

<A HREF="http://www.chowhound.com/southwest/boards/texas/messages/7573.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.chowhound.com/southwest/boards/texas/messages/7573.html</A>

[Otto]

Kuby's, as I recall, is overrated. Peggy Sue's is decent - not bad, not great. Bubba's is a once-a-year place. Tasty but wallowing in grease.

I agree with whoever it was that mentioned Gazeebo's - that should be rated by the Burger Guys. Terrific place.

[HorsePower]

I'm proud of you boys for not ranking the burger at Hard Rock Café. Greasy, tasteless and way too expensive.

[Bergermeister]

Well, I finally ordered a burger at Houstons... it was hard to pass up some of my favorites, but... it was very good. Although it was quite delicious, the price has to lower its rating. Eight bucks for a burger is a little steep. But, that's Houstons.

[The Q]

Can we assume that we'll see a ranking of burger joints in Conference USA towns?

[WildHorse]

If the "official" Burger Boys can't make some road trips when C-USA starts up, I'd be happy to submit unofficial reports from as many towns as I can get to!

[whatasteve]

Ah yes, the pursuit of a great burger continues. Whatachick and I recently made a trip to Florida, where MustangMan (of Key West) joined us to watch MiamiMustang get himself married (and boy, did that guy overachieve). So it seemed mandatory that we do an analysis of Florida burgers for those trips to Central Florida and South Florida once we're in Conference USA (never mind the fact that Central Florida is in Orlando, I think, and that South Florida is actually in Tampa -- not really "south" Florida).

The first one sampled came from the Duval Ale House in Miami. The first thing you'll notice here is that the thing is enormous. The burger itself is big, and the bun is even bigger -- looks like one of those over-inflated buns you sometimes encounter. And the bun just wasn't that tasty, which brought down the enjoyment level of an otherwise solid, if unspectacular, burger experience. The burger itself has a strong smoky grilled flavor, which is good, but it was a little dry (without the excuse of being overdone). Huge, tasty steak fries helped, but since this is a ranking of the burgers themselves, I'd say the Ale House would be just below the middle of the pack in Dallas burger rankings.

The next stop was in Key Largo (Whatachick and I took a few days of much-needed R&R after MiamiMustang's wedding). Key Largo is about halfway down the Keys, and for those who haven't been down there, there's basically one highway that runs all the way from Miami to Key West, with water on either side. Therefore, just about every place between the Keys looks like a little, forgettable blip in front of the views of the water as you drive. However, on your next venture to Florida (to see the Ponies play UCF or USF?), rent a car and spend the hours necessary to drive all the way to the Keys to hit Sundowner's in Key Largo. I can't recommend the place highly enough. You sit literally over the water, with views of the boats, tropical birds flying around, etc. And the beer is really cheap, which never hurts. But the star of show is the burger. Unbelievable. Incredibly juicy without being greasy, if that's possible (either that, or the grease was just really tasty). Either way, it was a truly sensational burger. Whatachick had some silly notion -- because we were in the Florida Keys, I guess -- that she had to eat seafood (which allowed no room for burgers. Silly Whatachick.) But after taking a bite of my burger, she was ready to steal it and abandon her ill-thought seafood selection (needless to say, her plan of stealing my burger was stopped immediately). And for all the juiciness in this fantastic burger, the bun still managed to avoid turning into a soggy mess, and had a toasted wheat flavor of its own. Sundowner's is worth the cost of a plane ticket to Florida. One of the very best burgers ever produced.

The third stop on the Florida leg of the Burger Wars was at Sloppy Joe's in Key West. True to form, Whatachick felt obligated to go with some sort of Bait Plate, and judging by the confused look on the waitress's mug when I ordered a burger, I began to think there are others who go with seafood when surrounded by the sea. Whatever -- they have no appreciation for the finer things in life. This place validated my theory that the burger chefs in Florida seem to think that the bigger a burger is, the better it is, and that if they simply forklift a massive hunk of cow on to your table, that you'll be forced to be impressed by it. But the true burger connoisseurs (like me) know otherwise. Sloppy Joe's indeed does make a huge burger, and there's something to be said for that, but the quality is sub-par. The beef itself is so coarse it feels like you're gnawing on gristle (which might well be the case). The flavor of the beef around the mystery pellets isn't awful, but certainly not worth the time it takes to consume the good beef while waiting for your date to turn her head so you can launch the gristle knobs into the street through the always-open door, hoping that nobody notices you spitting while in a restaurant. Either way, next time you're in Key West, skip the Sloppy Joe's burger and by all means don't get sucked into that "when in Florida, eat seafood" brainwashing. Just keep drinking beer, and you'll be fine.

Sidenote: there's a distinct possibility that my enjoyment of the Sloppy Joe's burger was severely tempered by the fact that the infamous Naked Cowboy -- a really weird dude who walks around in his hat, boots and underwear while playing a guitar (he has appeared on shows like the Howard Stern Show) was walking around outside the restaurant, basically harrassing pedestrians and causing many to lose their appetites.

So here's where the Florida burgers would fit in the official rankings (because these are official, of course!)

1. Uptown Bar & Grill
1 (B) Sundowner's (Key Largo, Florida)
2. First & 10
3. Snookie's
4. Rose's
5. Fuddrucker's
6. Earl's
7. Jake's
8. Joe Willy's
9. Chips
10. Tipperary Inn
10 (B) Duval Ale House (Miami, Florida)
11. Adairs
12. Two Rows
13. Campisi's
13 (B) Sloppy Joe's (Key West, Florida)
14. Cheesecake Factory
15. Snuffers

[PK]

Your official rankings are just that...your's. The real official rankings had Snookies as numero uno. Based upon your review of the Sloppy Joe's burger, I can't believe you would even give it a ranking...much less equate it with a burger from Campisi's. Better be ready to duck next time I see you.

BTW, in the interest of journalistic integrity, you should qualify your remarks on seafood by admitting that you just plain don't like fish of any kind. I'm going to be down in that part of Florida this summer and will try some of your burger places...but first and for most I'm going to enjoy some of those Joe's crab claws.

<small>[ 01-31-2004, 10:14 AM: Message edited by: PK ]</small>

[PonySnob]

Goff's salad burger with cheese and make those fries CRISP!!!

[whatasteve]

Originally posted by PK:
Your official rankings are just that...your's. The real official rankings had Snookies as numero uno. Based upon your review of the Sloppy Joe's burger, I can't believe you would even give it a ranking...much less equate it with a burger from Campisi's. Better be ready to duck next time I see you.

Silly PK -- my rankings are, in fact, official and would stand up in court (as long as I'm the judge). And as I've said before, all burgers have SOME merit, so it's not like I'm ripping the Campisi's burger. It's OK, and the one at Sloppy Joe's was OK (if you like spraying wads of gristle like a machine gun). I'd eat either one again, but the others on the list are better.

Originally posted by PK:
BTW, in the interest of journalistic integrity, you should qualify your remarks on seafood by admitting that you just plain don't like fish of any kind. I'm going to be down in that part of Florida this summer and will try some of your burger places...but first and for most I'm going to enjoy some of those Joe's crab claws.

When you and the Lovely Mrs. PK are headed down through the Keys, Sundowner's is on the west (Gulf) side of the highway. You might call to get the exact mile marker, because it's easy to miss, but well worth the effort to find it. And OK, I admit it: I don't like any seafood. I'd rather eat a bad burger any day.

[MrMustang1965]

BornRed&Blue and I are making a trip to Orlando in March. Any suggestions on good burger places either at Disney World or Universal Studios or in Orlando itself? Thanks in advance!

[Hoop Fan]

Was at Fuddruckers the other night. Burger was pretty good. Great wall of pics of old time Mustangs football and bball greats.

<small>[ 01-31-2004, 05:42 PM: Message edited by: Hoop Fan ]</small>

[Buddha]

I guess the Ale House is part of a chain in the Miami area, because I've been to three of them, including the one whatasteve visited. The only one I can remember ordering a burger was the Kendall Ale House, and as I recall, that was pretty damn good. But it's been over a year, so I can't remember the specifics.

As for the locals, nobody beats the great James Bailey (1st & 10) in my book.

[PonySnob]

Be sure to check out Dog and Shake up in Wichita!