There just isn't enough time to PANIC!

[ponyte]

Oh the misery. After a day of eating and seeing family, its time to PANIC. But the game is today so we don't have enough time to build up a really good panic. Quickly, curl up, insert thumb and just stain the sheets.

We have no chance, all is doomed, Houston scares the Hades out of me because they held their first class in a High School (No BS, San Jacinto High School in 1934).

Their colors are white and scarlet, like blood, they will kill us.

Their mascot is sexually frustrated middle aged women. Our boys don't stand a chance. Why can't they stick to bars?

Our D can't stop their freshman QB.

Our O is lead by some hick form Arkyland. Nothing good comes out of Arkyland.

They create turnovers and we just hand the other team the ball.

So the roof will be open which will allow the weather to ruin any chance we have.

If we wear red helmets. our guys will not be able to tell whose on which team. We will look just like the other team.

All is lost. We have no chance. Another defeat at the hands of the Cougar Queens.

Alas Babylon!

[mrydel]

Perhaps we have put a pitch into the playbook.

[birddogger]

I have been on my knees for the past 15 hours praying to St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. Not being Catholic or even very religious, I am not sure if this will work. I have modified the prayer a bit for present purposes:**

O most holy apostle, Saint Jude, the downtrodden fans of Southern Methodist University (most of whom, as you know, are not even Catholic) invoketh thee universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, and of things almost despaired of.

Pray for us, who are so miserable. Make use, we implore thee, of that particular privilege accorded to thee, to bring visible and speedy help and sure hands to our receivers and backfield, and to the offensive line and newbie quarterback, where help is almost despaired of.

Come to the assistance of the special teams and defense, the former of which is particularly in great need, and we ask humbly that all we receive the benefit of inexplicable turnovers by our opponent and questionable officiating and succor of Heaven in all necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly on third downs and field goal and PAT attempts, and that we may praise God with thee and all the other non-P5s throughout eternity.

We promise thee, O blessed Jude, if by your miraculous hand the Ponies shall prevail over the heathen Cougars, we will cease and desist for 24 hours our criticisms of: CK and each other; our uniform choice; the coaching staff and their woeful indifference to tradition and recruiting (despite the apparent dilemma raised by such eligibility and the specter of extended contracts); and the less-than-spectacular bowl to which we would be invited. We will be ever mindful of this great favor, to always honor thee as our special and powerful patron(and we will throw in some complimentary tickets to the bball games, too).

Amen.

** Disclaimer: No offense is intended to those of the Catholic faith.