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Label in aggie underwear: yellow in front, brown in back.

tag on aggie tennis shoes: T.G.I.F. (toes go in first)

Did you hear about the Japanese Aggie that on December 7, 1941 attacked Pearl Bailey?

When you are driving from Waco to Houston how do you know that you are getting close to College Station?

You start seeing that all the sheep are backed up against the fence posts.

An Aggie and his friend are walking through a bad neighborhood in Houston when they are attacked by a gang. The gangmembers draw a circle and tell the Aggie that he has to stand inside it or they will kill him. The gangmembers then start beating the heck out of his friend. The Aggie starts laughing hysterically and the gangmembers tell him to shut up. The Aggie keeps laughing while they continue to beat up his friend. The gangmembers finally have enought and ask the Aggie what is so funny about them beating up his friend. The Aggie laughs and says, "there's nothing funny about that, but I've stepped outside this circle 5 times and you haven't caught me yet."

What is the difference between a Lumberjack and an Aggie ?

One is the pitcher, the other is the catcher....

An Aggie takes his favorite sheep into his bedroom. He wakes up his wife and says, "this is the pig that I've been screwing".

His wife says - "you drunk idiot, that's a sheep not a pig".

To which the Aggie responds - "I was talking to the sheep".

How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but he gets 3 hours credit.

And though it's not the full on assault hoped for and it's devoid of any sheep references:

A Baylor Bear, a Longhorn and an Aggie walk into a men's room. When the Bear is finished, he goes to the sink, uses copious amounts of water and soap, then enough paper towels for three people. He turns and says to the others, "At Baylor, they teach us to be clean."

When the Longhorn finishes, he goes to the sink, uses a tiny amount of water, a spot of soap and a 2x2" square of paper towel. He then turns and says, "At UT, they teach us to be clean AND green."

When the Aggie finishes, he zips up, walks out without washing and says, "Heck, at a&m, they teach us not to pee on our hands."

SMU joke from the aggie board. SMU fan holding a poster upside down.

http://www.goodbullhunting.com/

Did you hear about the Cessna that crashed in a cemetery in College Station?

Aggie search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and are still digging.

The Aggie bride tossed away her diaphram. Her husband told her he had bought a condominium.

Two Aggies with PhDs in philosophy are sitting at a Starbucks discussing the meaning of life. The manager comes over and says "That toilet ain't gonna clean itself, get back to work."

When the aggie president read the latest highway safety data that reported most accidents occur within 25 miles of home he moved.