A pirate walks in to a bar.....

Grider · Post by **Grider** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:28 am

A pirate walks into a bar. He's got a steering wheel tied to his family jewels.

Bartender: Hey, what's with the steering wheel?
Pirate: Arrrgghhh!! It's driving me nuts!

:oops:

EastStang · Post by **EastStang** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 12:29 pm

With a parrott on his shoulder. Bartender asks. "Whaddya want?" Parrott answers: "two whiskeys one for me and one for my pet".

ponyplayer · Post by **ponyplayer** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 12:36 pm

parrot is getting a physical, doctor lights a match and sticks under his talon, then under his other talon, feel the heat?

Parrot says no......

Doctor sticks lighted match between its talons.....now what?

Parrot starts singing "chestnuts roasting on an open flame"....

lugus830 · Post by **lugus830** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 12:43 pm

A pirate walks into a bar with a hook on one hand and an eye patch on one eye. The bartender asks how he lost his hand, and the pirate responds that a shark bit it off. The bartender then asks how he lost his eye. The pirate responds that a bird [deleted] in his eye. The bartender asks, how did that make you lose your eye? The pirate responds, it was my first day with the hook.

smupony94 · Post by **smupony94** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:03 pm

a little kid with a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate and goes trick or treating. he knocks on the door of a house and a man answers. "oh, i can see you're dressed up as a pirate." the man says. "but where are your buccaneers?" the kid gets really mad, and says "on the sides of my buckin' head!"

ScourgeOf7seas · Post by **ScourgeOf7seas** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:23 pm

Arrrghh! I be offended by your Pirate jokes. Ye have gone too far, Mustangs! Whatever happened to good ol' fashioned ethnic and religious humor???

KnuckleStang · Post by **KnuckleStang** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:28 pm

A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat."

SmooBoy · Post by **SmooBoy** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:48 pm

What has 8 arms and 8 legs?

8 Pirates!

KnuckleStang · Post by **KnuckleStang** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:52 pm

What's a pirate's favorite beer?

P.B.Arrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

SMU Football Blog · Post by **SMU Football Blog** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:07 pm

RGV Pony · Post by **RGV Pony** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:09 pm

SMUFball Blog: Now that's funny. Laughed out loud, as I'm sure anyone with kids under 4 did.

DiamondM75 · Post by **DiamondM75** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:12 pm

ScourgeOf7seas wrote:Arrrghh! I be offended by your Pirate jokes. Ye have gone too far, Mustangs! Whatever happened to good ol' fashioned ethnic and religious humor???

Whenever we play a team with ethnic or religious mascots, we will pull out the ethnic and religious jokes.

But this week, it is pirate jokes......sorry.

NOT!

Nacho · Post by **Nacho** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:16 pm

Are we having Pirate night? Everyone under 13 dressed as a pirate gets in free. Whoops they do anyway--kids, not pirates. Worked well for us to invite the Baptists to the Baylor game. I think anyone regradless of age dressed as a pirate should be admitted free to the game. We need more pirates in UP/HP anyway.

SMU Football Blog · Post by **SMU Football Blog** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:22 pm

DiamondM75 wrote:
ScourgeOf7seas wrote:Arrrghh! I be offended by your Pirate jokes. Ye have gone too far, Mustangs! Whatever happened to good ol' fashioned ethnic and religious humor???

Whenever we play a team with ethnic or religious mascots, we will pull out the ethnic and religious jokes.

But this week, it is pirate jokes......sorry.

NOT!

Are Aggies an ethnic or religious group?

jtstang · Post by **jtstang** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:28 pm

SMU Football Blog wrote:Are Aggies an ethnic or religious group?

No that's a cult, which is something different altogether.