Top 10: UTEP

[Letterman]

From the home office, high on The Hilltop, the Top 10 reasons SMU will beat UTEP:

10. SMU's offense has struggled to score this year, but UTEP's giving up 43 points per game — Richard Bartel and Keylon Kincade evoke memories of Don Meredith and Eric Dickerson
9. Starting D.D. Lee and D.D. Johnson at linebacker inspires UTEP head coach Gary Nord to shake his head and mutter "they've just got too much 'D' "
8. El Paso native Matt Rushbrook reverts back to look from freshman year that earned him the nickname "Slim Shady" — UTEP players stay up all night waiting in line to buy non-existent Eminem tickets, have no energy left to play
7. Sneaky SMU defensive players ask UTEP huddle the play and the count on which the ball will be snapped — inexperienced UTEP QB Omar Duarte tells them
6. UTEP's talented-but-scrawny RB Howard Jackson (5-10, 155) takes one look at DE Melvin Williams and thinks "damn, that guy's huge" and fakes an injury in fear
5. Advance copy of Sunday's headine: "SMU gives Miners the Shaft"
4. Salsa-laden pre-game meal leaves UTEP players making repeated "runs for the border," so to speak
3. DE (and El Paso native) Don Ieremia-Stansbury registers four sacks, returns a fumble for a touchdown (that's NOT called back) and struts to midfield announcing Sun Bowl is "my house"
2. Realizing that the Miners are averaging just 1.7 points in the fourth quarter this year, savvy SMU game captains Lute Croy and John Hampton convince the Miners during the coin toss that the first three quarters were cancelled, and that the teams will just play a 60-minute 4th quarter

And the #1 reason SMU will beat UTEP this weekend:

1. Surprise addition to the SMU secondary: Winona Ryder

[This message has been edited by Letterman (edited 11-13-2002).]

[HorsePower]

Funniest one yet, by far!

[Guest]

Hah, great list! Unfortunately, ESPN had this to say about SMU on the Bottom 10 list: "This Saturday SMU heads out to the West Texas town of El Paso to face UTEP in the Pillow Fight of the Week." Not to mention, "The Ponies did get to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the '82 Cotton Bowl season." Ouch.

[Buddha]

That is good stuff!

[Jim Rome]

I'm guessing that's the first time Winona Ryder has been mentioned on PonyFans.com.
Great list!

[Pony Up]

Ha! Melvin Williams has bulked up nicely since he got to SMU, but I doubt anyone's ever going to look at him and call him huge, at least not for a defensive end.

Idle thought: If Coach Bennett suddenly landed a bunch of defensive end recruits, how would Melvin do as an outside linebacker? With his speed and strength, I bet he'd be good. Maybe real good.

[Dznexteljoe]

Yeah, REAL funny buddy!
Greetings from the Miner fan board at:
<A HREF="http://utep.rivals.com/forum.asp?sid=991&fid=509&style=1" TARGET=_blank>http://utep.rivals.com/forum.asp?sid=991&fid=509&style=1</A>
Com'on over and discuss with us today's game if you want.
Either way, have a great game.
I posted your Top 10 list to our fans to see what they would say, if anything.
GO MINERS! BEAT SMU!

[Letterman]

All in good fun, Dznexteljoe. Thanks for posting it on your board.
You guys gave a good fight, and I hope the Miners improve quickly. Good luck next week.