On the lighter side of college football

Diehard Pony · Post by **Diehard Pony** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 1:56 pm

Hopefully you will get a few laughs from the following:

Q: What does the average Texas player get on his SATs?
A: Drool.

Q: What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A: A full set of teeth.

Q: How do you get a South Carolina cheerleader into your dorm room?
A: Grease her hips and push.

Q: How do you get a TCU graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How do you know if an A&M football player has a girlfriend ?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup

Q: Why is the SMU football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What are the longest three years of a SMU football player's life?
A: His freshman year.

Q: How many A&M freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a sophomore course.

Q: Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
A: Dallas, Texas. He knew that the police would never look at SMU for a Heisman Trophy winner.

Q: Why did Texas choose orange as their team color?
A: You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

SMUHouston · Post by **SMUHouston** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 2:05 pm

That was pretty good. It got a laugh out of me.

FloridaMustang · Post by **FloridaMustang** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 2:05 pm

Absolutely the greatest. Although SEC cheerleaders arent exactly as you described. of course

PerunaPunch · Post by **PerunaPunch** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 2:07 pm

Pretty good, but those cops are mistaken - we have a Heisman (Doak's).

FloridaMustang · Post by **FloridaMustang** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 2:22 pm

PerunaPunch, you deserve an award for your ability to live in the past

PerunaPunch · Post by **PerunaPunch** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 2:31 pm

Yes, but the past so much more pleasant than the present.

I may have to start being a Cowboys fan again - perish the thought. :w00t:

MrMustang1965 · Post by **MrMustang1965** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 1:51 pm

A second grade teacher was asking her class to talk about what their fathers did for a living. She was getting the usual responses: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. She got to 'Little Johnny' and asked him what his father did. 'Little Johnny' sheepishly stood up and said, "My father is an exotic male dancer. He takes his clothes off for other men for money. If they REALLY like him, he'll give them a 'private session' for even more money!" 'Little Johnny' then sat down. The teacher was aghast! She immediately set the class to work on another project and hurriedly took 'Little Johnny' outside of the room to the hall. "Why would you say something like that about your father?", she asked 'Little Johnny'. He replied, "Because I was too embarrased to say that he's an assistant coach for the SMU Mustangs football team!" :w00t:

GrapevineMustang · Post by **GrapevineMustang** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 3:09 pm

Come on, MM65 - you're better than that. :thumbdown:

And whoever wrote that list has not seen what cheerleaders at South Carolina look like these days! :thumbupcool:

MrMustang1965 · Post by **MrMustang1965** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 3:14 pm

Oh, c'mon! It's not any worse than the ones above! Besides, you could just 'fill in the blank' with another school like Texas A&M or the Teasips instead of the Mustangs, if you wanted. :whistling:

abezontar · Post by **abezontar** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 3:19 pm

How do you get a one-armed aggie out of a tree?

You wave at him!

PlanoStang · Post by **PlanoStang** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 3:38 pm

In today's Dallas Morning News it was reported that when asked why he was leaving SMU Bartel replied "Bennett there done that".

Mustangs35SMU · Post by **Mustangs35SMU** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 3:46 pm

Love tha Jokes DieHard

Come on MrM'65! Dont give up on them Ponies just like that!!

MrMustang1965 · Post by **MrMustang1965** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 3:51 pm

Even I have to vent and blow off a little steam every now and then! Don't worry...I'm still with the Mustangs! I'm looking forward to seeing what the changes that have been made this week will do for the remainder of the season. Can't make the game in Tulsa

but I'll be monitoring the score!

MizterTea · Post by **MizterTea** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 4:25 pm

Originally posted by PerunaPunch:
Yes, but the past so much more pleasant than the present.

I may have to start being a Cowboys fan again - perish the thought. :w00t:

MrMustang1965 · Post by **MrMustang1965** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 5:43 pm

Originally posted by MizterTea:

Originally posted by PerunaPunch:

<img src="http://www.tothenextlevel.org/graphics/football%20-%20tomlandry1.jpg" alt=" - " />

The face of God. 'Nuff said!

<small>[ 10-21-2003, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: MrMustang1965 ]</small>

On the lighter side of college football

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