NCAA Pecking Order

[PerunaPunch]

Excerpt from NCAA regulations concerning players who accept inappropriate gifts.

If the school is a small public university from Texas: Shut 'em down

If it's a "well-liked" small public university from the SE whose president and AD are drinkin' buddies with NCAA officials: Suspend a few players for a couple of week. DO NOT sanction university as a whole.

If it's a large public institution from Ohio: DO NOT sanction university. Tell offending players they are "extremely naughty", but make sure they are reinstated before playing any opponent with a pulse.

[Wuba]

Excerpt from NCAA regulations concerning players who accept inappropriate gifts.

If the school is a small public university from Texas: Shut 'em down

If it's a "well-liked" small public university from the SE whose president and AD are drinkin' buddies with NCAA officials: Suspend a few players for a couple of week. DO NOT sanction university as a whole.

If it's a large public institution from Ohio: DO NOT sanction university. Tell offending players they are "extremely naughty", but make sure they are reinstated before playing any opponent with a pulse.

I think you meant to say private instead of public on that first one?

[The PonyGrad]

Excerpt from NCAA regulations concerning players who accept inappropriate gifts.

If the school is a small public university from Texas: Shut 'em down

If it's a "well-liked" small public university from the SE whose president and AD are drinkin' buddies with NCAA officials: Suspend a few players for a couple of week. DO NOT sanction university as a whole.

If it's a large public institution from Ohio: DO NOT sanction university. Tell offending players they are "extremely naughty", but make sure they are reinstated before playing any opponent with a pulse.

Seems like this could be extended and turned into an Xtranormal skit.

[redpony]

You forgot one- If it is a large university located in Austin, TX. just shut up and be thankful they will let you keep your NCAA position.

GO PONIES!!!